Today, in Unusual Places To Put Your Money: whiskey.
Whiskey isn’t just a good for consumption or a means toward intoxication: it’s a collector’s item, an investment portfolio, and an incredibly valuable commodity. “Whiskey as an investment is being driven by an escalating international demand, combined with an ever-decreasing supply of rare and aged single malt,” the Whisky Corporation’s Stephen Notman told CNN last year. This international demand and decreasing supply has driven serious returns: according to materials provided by the Platinum Whisky Investment Fund, the world’s first whisky fund, the top whiskeys have appreciated in value anywhere from 130% to, among the 100 best, a staggering 230% from 2011-2013. Interested? The buy-in for the Platinum Whisky Investment Fund’s only a cool quarter-million.
Likely your first question is, are we spelling whiskey with or without the “e”? Because it matters!
What would you save by trying the Dry January thing? Would it be worth it?
For those of us who live paycheck-to-paycheck, for whom the accumulation of savings is always one perfect-month-without-crises away, it is important to take pleasure in the little things. For me, one of those little things is the stretch of the month between the 15th and the 25th, when all my big bills are paid — student loan, 2011 independent contractor taxes on the installment plan — but the next round of them — rent, phone, after-school for two kids — is still the better part of a week away.
Often, a paycheck, or, more precisely, a pay advice from a direct deposit, arrives during this period, giving me the false sense that I am getting ahead and accumulating the absurd amount of emergency cash that financial planners smugly say I should have. By now I have learned not to rely on my foolish notions, so I resist big purchases (well, maybe a few extra drinks). Instead, I just luxuriate for a few days in a false sense of financial security. This month, it’s false financial security and a glass of egg nog with rum in it. Happy holidays.
Fortune claims that 90% of offices are planning parties in 2014. Get out those reindeer headbands!
My favorite Christmas was when we ran away.
“Antifreeze chemical” aside, does this Fireball whisky recall affect sales?
Fancy-shmancy restaurants serve fancy-shmancy cocktails full of ingredients you’ve never heard of, so that you will pay too much to get drunk on something gross and then, because you’re drunk, buy more and more expensive food and wine than you planned to and then, the next morning, wake up gout-y, dehydrated, and poor, wondering where it all went wrong. Don’t worry, the Times is on it:
a restaurant is way more likely to hand you a not-good drink than a bar that prides itself on cocktail conjuring. … restaurants have come to depend on these [cocktail] lists for extra revenue, which comes in two forms: the margin on the cocktails, and the extra cash that first drink of the evening may pry loose from a customer’s money clip.
“It’s an unspoken truth in the business,” said Eben Freeman, who used to superintend the bars operated by Mr. White’s Altamarea Group and recently moved to a similar job with AvroKo. “You’re hoping to get a cocktail sale in before they settle down with the wine list. The dark side is that they will drink the cocktail faster” than a glass of wine, he continued. “And it will affect their decision-making, and might cause them to get the steak for two. Or the more expensive bottle of wine.”
The only way to escape this endless, torturous loop is to stare down your server and decline the cocktail menu altogether. Stand strong, America! Only you can prevent Atomic Fireballs.