Everyone’s least favorite bank (just me?) has reached a settlement with the Department of Justice, as the Wall Street Journal reports. It is the biggest effing settlement the U.S. has ever made with a single corporation, and is equal to three years of the bank’s profits.
John Lanchaster wrote a novel called Capital, set in London before and after the 2008 financial crisis. As one would imagine, he learned a lot about finance in the writing of it. He has a very Billfold-y piece in this week’s New Yorker about decoding the alienating language of money: “It is potent and efficient, but also exclusive and excluding.”
I have it set up so that I receive an instant email alert any time I withdrawal more than $100 from an ATM, so you can imagine my horror when I received a few of these messages yesterday while I was at work and not withdrawing money from an ATM.
When we got home, though, I started to freak out. Not freak out because now our money was intertwined and swiftly dwindling and SOMEONE didn’t pay the electric bill for a few months and so one of the first charges was like $200, which was historically something I wouldn’t have been aware of. No, I decided to channel my anxiety of our ever-increasing co-dependence into the fact that this account was HIS account and not mine. I was simply on it.
In addition to handing out programs, I scheduled the other ushers and occasionally ran the sound booth. Perks included choice hours and the ability to wear colors. The highlight of this job was meeting Aretha Franklin backstage. She called me Stewart and asked me to bring her a hamburger.
Smith College is the latest in a string of universities to scramble for a replacement commencement speaker after IMF director Christine Lagarde succumbed to pressure to back down:
Christine Lagarde, first female managing director of the International Monetary Fund, has withdrawn from the Smith College 2014 graduation where she was slated to be the commencement speaker after students and faculty began protesting her inclusion in the ceremony. … Lagarde is one of many commencement speakers to get the boot in the past year. Recently, Condoleeza Rice canceled her Rutgers University commencement address after students protested her presence due to her involvement in the Iraq war and Brandeis University reneged on plans to award an honorary degree to women’s rights activist Ayaan Hirsa Ali because of her controversial and negative stance on Islam.
This plague of, as Slate puts it, “elite college students protesting elite commencement speakers,” is not only toppling right-leaning ladies. Former chancellor of UC Berkeley Robert Birgeneau was slated to speak at Haverford before he withdrew.
Do you even remember your Commencement speaker? Did you feel entitled to have one you agreed with? Mine was the relatively low-profile but intelligent author of The Paradox of Choice and he gave a remarkably useful address about how we should make decisions over the rest of our lives. At my brothers’ various graduations, I’ve gotten to hear from Ted Kennedy (RIP) and James Carville. As much fun as those events were, neither man left me with anything I remembered the next day. I’m thrilled that when I wearing a cap and gown I got life advice from someone worth listening to.
photo via US Army
The problem is how to use the joint account. Just bills? Groceries? Do groceries include beer from the liquor store?
Jason Kottke writes that an anonymous 4chan user has come up with a scheme to use video game retailer GameStop as a bank:
Does anyone else use Gamestop as a bank?
I got really pissed off with US Bank because I kept overdrafting my account even though I opted out, and the same thing happened with my credit union when I got a debit card.
Now whenever I get paid I go preorder a whole shitload of games. Whenever I need money, I go to the nearest gamestop and ask for my money back on a game I don’t want and make a withdrawal. The lines are shorter at gamestop than at the bank and I can trade in old games and have money go straight to my savings account. Gamestops are just as prevalent as banks in my town and I work at a mall so it’s even more convenient than running an errand to the bank or using an ATM and getting charged.
There are a lot of reasons why you should not do this. For one, as Bloomberg Businessweek points out, GameStops are not FDIC-insured, meaning if the company goes out of business there’s no guarantee a customer would get her money back. Other obvious problems: You could only take out money during store hours, and if you write a rent check you’ll still need a regular bank to process it. Plus, it’s just really weird for you to use a video game store as your bank.
Photo: Stephan Mosel