Time to Panic About Hazelnuts

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There are more than 50 hazelnuts per 13-ounce jar of Nutella, and with 180 million kilograms of the chocolatey spread produced each year, that adds up to an insane number of hazelnuts. Right now, many confectioners are scrambling to secure hazelnuts: Hail storms and frost in March damaged the crop in Turkey, the world’s main growing area, causing prices to climb by as much as 60 percent this year.

Not to worry, via my old favorite Venessa Wong at Businessweek, Nutella owns 25% of the world’s supply of hazelnuts and has acquired Oltan Group, the leading supplier of hazelnuts. Nutella will be fine. They account for 70% of all U.S. sales of chocolate spreads and are, somehow, a 2.5 BILLION dollar company. That’s a lot of people studying abroad and then coming home feeling really cultured because they put Nutella on their toast now. (BEEN THERE.) But it’s the other guys, the little confectioners, that have to worry.

Personally? I throw away hazelnuts, even when hungry. Give me a cashew, a pecan, a pistachio any day before this nut. I will even take the lowly peanut, the most basic of legumes, before I even LOOK at a hazelnut.

But put that shit in ice cream and I’m all over it. I cannot believe such an inferior nut lends itself so beautifully to chocolate and ice cream. This is where the hailstorms in Turkey concern me. Because Nutella is nice but it is not as nice as ice cream.

Ruling: I will allow Ferrero to hoard just enough hazelnuts so that they are phased out of all mixed nut packages as a rule, but not to much that I can’t eat nocciola gelato. Thank you for your time.

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

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14 Comments / Post A Comment

LookUponMyWorks (#2,616)

“I throw away hazelnuts, even when hungry. ”

What. Who are you?!?!

lol A MONSTER

j a y (#3,935)

@Meaghan O’Connell I’m not a fan of hazelnuts by themselves, but put into a pastry or confection and they become magical.

garli (#4,150)

@Meaghan O’Connell Instead of throwing them out please mail them to me. Thanks.

The WORST is hazelnut coffee. Absolutely the worst.

garli (#4,150)

@Jake Reinhardt All flavored coffee is equally the worst.

ATF (#4,229)

@Jake Reinhardt I whole heatedly agree with this.

calamity (#2,577)

I don’t even know what a hazelnut looks like. I don’t know what they taste like on their own either. But I would sooner die than take them out of my lattes.

OK, actually, I just googled them: they look like acorns whole, and like weird tiny banana slices while cut up.

Cashews are the only nut I eat by themselves though. Their buttery salty deliciousness is unmatched in the nut (/legume/whatever they are) world.

mintjulips (#6,277)

@calamity What is a cashew? I’ve always wondered… it must be a nut because I’m allergic to nuts and cashews are BY FAR THE WORST AND MOST DEADLY nut (if it is a nut).

Susan Tidebeck (#5,691)

@calamity Are hazelnuts and filberts the same thing?

potatopotato (#5,255)

Nutella is not that good.

COME AT ME.

I was genuinely afraid to go there.

potatopotato (#5,255)

@Meaghan O’Connell: I’ll take the heat. I’m just a potato on the internet.

PicNic (#3,760)

everyone’s comments are stressing me out! what’s the beef with flavored coffee?! nutella is the ONLY THING that is getting me to eat stupid yogurt for my stupid broken digestion! I put a smidge in my strawberry chobani greek yogurt every morning and it makes life (yogurt) bearable.

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