How Muppets Do Money: Kermit

KERMIE!

“How I do money?” Kermit asked. “Is money something you do?”

My final interview was, of course, with Kermit the Frog.

“You know that song from Follies?” Kermit’s home is a testament to a life spent in and around the theater. “Good times and bum times, I’ve seen ‘em all…”

It’s a strange experience to hear Kermit the Frog sing to you in his own home. An even stranger experience to hear him singing someone else’s song.

“I don’t know what to say,” Kermit said. “I’ve never had a plan. I’m a dreamer, I guess. Sometimes I have more money than others. Sometimes I have a lot more money than others.”

He continued explaining how his life was full of cycles: the agent who discovered him in the swamp, the highs and lows of careers in both Hollywood and Manhattan, hosting the Muppet Show, a brief stint as a news reporter, the two songs that made him famous.

Re-opening Muppet Studios in 2011. A short stint in prison for a crime he didn’t commit in 2014.

“I really have seen it all,” Kermit said.

I asked him how he managed his finances.

“Oh, Fozzie set me up with his CPA,” he explained. “And Muppet Studios has its own accountant. And I know I should think about money a little bit more, but I don’t.”

I asked him if he had a retirement account. “Nope,” he said. A savings account? “Nope — everything just goes in checking.” Credit-card debt? “Not right now.”

“It makes me feel uncomfortable to talk about this,” Kermit said, and he was starting to look a little agitated. “My life hasn’t ever gone by the rules, even when I’ve wanted it to. So I’m not married, I’m not a father, I don’t think about money the way other people do.”

He paused. “This is going to sound silly,” he said, “but I just live life one day at a time.”

I asked him what he did when he needed money.

“Same thing I’ve always done,” Kermit said. “I put on a show.”

 

Previously in How Muppets Do Money: Gonzo

 

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16 Comments / Post A Comment

Gretchen Alice (#1,453)

*slow clap for this whole series*

bgprincipessa (#699)

@Gretchen Alice Seconded. I’m so glad you just took this idea and really ran with it, Nicole.

@bgprincipessa Yeah,this was really such a fun, well-executed idea. Thanks for doing it!

LookUponMyWorks (#2,616)

“Same thing I’ve always done,” Kermit said. “I put on a show.”

These were great!

…and I want another week! Sam the Eagle, Miss Piggie, Rowlf, Beaker and/or Bunsen, Animal, Floyd, Statler/Waldorf, Swedish Chef…

NoName (#3,509)

@Glen Raphael@facebook Oh yeah, I’d love to read Miss Piggy. However, I can guess what her financial life would look like.

@NoName Miss Piggy has a love-hate relationship with divorced parents who fought over her by buying her expensive stuff, then she went into modeling for a few years. Now she has expensive tastes and an overdeveloped sense of entitlement, but her income stream can’t keep up…

NoName (#3,509)

@Glen Raphael@facebook Yeah, pretty much.

Heather F G (#6,074)

Sam the Eagle has SO MANY MUTUAL FUNDS.

@Heather F G Yeah, and his funds mainly own T-Bills, Chrysler and GM stock, or as he puts it: “With each new share, I am buying another tiny piece of AMERICA!!”

NoName (#3,509)

It’s a pretty interesting perspective that Gonzo turned out to be an Order Muppet and Kermit, not so much (at least where personal finances are concerned).

Megano (#739)

I love this series too! And I think that it’s really interesting that some of the things that don’t really seem to make a ton of difference on the Muppet Show (gender and age) make a HUGE difference in the things the muppets have to plan for, while things that help me distinguish muppets from each other (order vs. chaos) don’t always have such a big impact on fiscal strategy (see NoName’s comment, above)

Wait, how do muppet *kids* do money? Say, Kermit’s nephew Robin The Frog, or Elmo on Sesame Street. Does muppet-kid money get held for them in a trust until they come of age? Do they have typical child-star problems – corrupt manager, stage-mom parents? Do they get an allowance? So many questions!

NoName (#3,509)

Tangentially related: Muppet Studios (actually the Jim Henson Company lot) also houses Daft Punk’s production company (Daft Trax) offices. Makes you think, right?

HelloTheFuture (#5,275)

@NoName Daft Punk are Statler and Waldorf in helmets.

NoName (#3,509)

@HelloTheFuture WOAH MIND BLOWN

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