Thoughts While Considering Buying a Bag of Dried Cranberries

• Oh look a bag of dried cranberries.

• It’s $6. Is $6 too much for a bag of dried cranberries?

• Are dried cranberries even good for you, or am imagining that right now.

• You’ve been through some things lately and if you want a bag of dried cranberries, you should buy yourself a bag of dried cranberries.

• Seriously though, $6 seems kind of a lot.

• Like, you could get these raisins over there for half the cost.

• Except they are raisins.

• You could put the dried cranberries in a salad, or in oatmeal.

• Or you could just eat a fistful of dried cranberries if you wanted.

• Is this what life is for you now? Standing in a grocery store and staring at a bag of dried cranberries?

• Just buy the cranberries.

• Later you’re going to stare at the bag of dried cranberries in your cabinet and wonder where your life went.

• ♬ In your head, in your head, / Zombie, zombie, zombie ♬


B. Benson is an office drone. Photo: Wikimedia Commons


12 Comments / Post A Comment

Lily Rowan (#70)

<3, Bob!

andnowlights (#2,902)

Oh this is conversation I have with myself over every single non-necessity in the grocery store. So glad I’m not the only one!

Do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger?

cawcawphony (#2,990)

“You’ve been through some things lately and if you want a bag of xx, you should buy yourself a bag of xx.”

Every conversation with myself in a grocery store ever.

ThatJenn (#916)

@cawcawphony Me too, even if the things I’ve been through are multiple bags of xx

Kissy (#5,345)

The last line is hilarious!!

bgprincipessa (#699)

WEll guess what’s going to be stuck in my head for all of forever

RVA_TXN (#1,461)

dried cherries > dried cranberries

nutmeg (#1,383)

I used to buy dried strawberries sometimes because they are the most delicious thing in the world; they are also so expensive that I felt bad about buying them.

Meaghano (#529)

@nutmeg hnnnnnngh you just reminded me dried strawberries exist. THE BEST EVER. And yes ridiculously expensive. My favorite ones are from Russ & Daughters — holy hell.

hollanding (#6,076)

@Meaghano Thank you for the tip on R&D having these! Trader Joe’s used to have them, as did Whole Foods but they’ve been off the shelves for some time now at my nearest locations.

wrappedupinbooks (#1,426)

hold up, you need to buy almonds to go with these Bob! They will be so lonely and tart by themselves.

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