What One Food Item Would You Eat for the Rest of Your Life?

From Vice (and sent to me from Logan), an interview with a man who has eaten nothing but cheese pizza for the last 25 years and seems relatively okay:

Why don’t you eat other food?
I used to eat “regular food” like every normal American, but when I was 15 or 16, I made the decision to become a vegetarian based on ethical reasoning. I still loved the taste of meat, and I still love it to this day, but due to my beliefs, I gave it up. That was about 23 years ago. I also hate vegetables.

Does your current diet affect your diabetes?
When I first got diabetes, my endocrinologist said, “You should go to a nutritionist. You eat horribly.” So I went to a nutritionist, and it was a waste of time. They just basically give you a list of things to try, saying, “Oh, you’re a vegetarian; you should try this, this, and this.” And of course I’m not going to try any of those. I like pizza. I’ve never gotten a negative reaction except from my first endocrinologist. But all the other doctors have said, “Your cholesterol is fine. You seem healthy. Keep doing what you’re doing.” I haven’t had anyone truly concerned about it, except for my fiancée, and she’s not overly concerned. With her advice and support, I’ve been seeing a therapist about my food aversion, and we’ve been exploring why I have such a limited diet. I must say, even though I sound like a horribly unhealthy and fat person, I’m not. I’m thin. I have tons of energy, and I feel great every day, so there might be something to the exclusive pizza diet.

I don’t think there is anything I like enough to eat exclusively for the rest of my life (and I’m skeptical about the nutritional value of anything I would choose), but if it’s working for him, great.

Also, what is the food budget of a person who eats exclusively cheese pizza, is the question I’d like to ask this man.


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Also, what is the food budget of a person who eats exclusively cheese pizza, is the question I’d like to ask this man.

That would be an interesting question. Although given Mr. Bowtiesarecool’s stories about his broke retail job years, it sounds like one can survive for quite some time and quite cost-efficiently on the $5 large pizza deals the national chains seem to always have.

triplea (#1,234)

This is my nightmare. Oh my god

sunflowernut (#1,638)

@triplea Mine too

wrappedupinbooks (#1,426)

@triplea I would rather not eat at all than eat the same thing forever.

aetataureate (#1,310)

@wrappedupinbooks I would rather not date at all than date a person who eats only pizza.

Before I even read the article, I thought “Pizza. Definitely pizza.” I need to caveat that, though, and say that I deserve a different dessert and I could live on Trader Joe’s Mint Chip ice cream after said pizza.

I mean, arguably, you could make pizza for yourself pretty healthily with whole wheat crust, vegetables, low sodium sauce, etc.

MissMushkila (#1,044)

@polka dots vs stripes I keep trying to make whole wheat pizza crust from scratch, and every time I am deeply disappointed because it is not nearly as good (in texture, taste, consistency) as my pizza crust using white flour. I feel like it should be possible to make good whole wheat pizza, bc I love whole wheat everything else (pasta, bread, muffins, bagels, etc.

Bonnie St. Clair (#2,949)

@MissMushkila I haven’t made pizza dough in a long time (got lazy), but I really like the America’s Test Kitchen version that uses half bread flour/half whole-wheat flour: http://www.ziplist.com/recipes/572281-Whole_Wheat_Pizza_Dough_from_The_America_s_Test_Kitchen_Healthy_Family_Cookbook

Beaks (#3,488)

@MissMushkila Vital wheat gluten! That will up the protein content in your dough, which should help with elasticity. Maybe throw in some semolina flour too.

The New York Times had a whole wheat pie crust that was essentially a bread dough that would probably make a decent pizza crust. It’s heavy on the olive oil, so it’s easy to roll and handle.

And King Arthur Flour is always my go-to for all things baking- they suggest an overnight rise, which would also help with flavor and texture.

la peagoise (#6,003)

I do wonder if that includes “fancy” cheese pizza with the actual tomatos and legit mozzarella and home made crust and such.

OhMarie (#299)

@la peagoise The only pizza place mentioned, Joe Squared, is fancy and super yummy.

AitchBee (#3,001)

I really don’t understand the vegetarian angle: did his pre-pizza diet consist of meat-piles, Brazillian steakhouse-style? What about pasta? Cheese and crackers? CAKE? GAHHHHH

aeroaeroaero (#1,422)

Love the part about how healthy he is, right after the part about how he blacks out all the time, including while driving! Very fun pizza guy, indeed.

Bonnie St. Clair (#2,949)

@aeroaeroaero Aaaaah, that’s really scary (the blacking out while driving)! It’s also frustrating that he cites his thinness as a sign of being healthy – I’m sure there are lots of people bigger than he is who eat healthily. (/pizza-shaming) (sorry, pizza! I <3 you!)

shannowhamo (#845)

@Bonnie St. Clair Also, what is his pooping situation? It can’t be good.

garli (#4,150)

That just seems so limiting. What do you do when you’re invited to a dinner party? A wedding? To go out to lunch with your colleagues?

jquick (#3,730)

@garli Yeah. And he found someone to marry him! Wonder what she eats.

garli (#4,150)

@jquick My friend is married to a dude who refuses to eat veggies and I can’t imagine how annoying meal planning must be. Especially since they have 3 kids.

RachelG8489 (#1,297)

@garli I can’t even imagine. I went on a couple of dates with a dude who turned out to barely eat vegetables (like, picked the green onion out of fancy ramen) and it drove me nuts.

aetataureate (#1,310)

@garli I can’t imagine a bigger, more scary red flag that you’re dating an emotional child than that a person who “refuses to eat veggies.” What the actual? Besides the incredible amount of mindlessly healthy/able-bodied privilege there, how will that person ever cope with change in real life ever? Jesus christ.

pissy elliott (#844)

for someone who tries really hard to be compassionate of all the weird ways people think and live, people who only eat kid food (and this is an extreme case) just make me livid. i know it’s irrational. i have my own faux-intellectual scaffolding around it. but seriously, i don’t believe your preferences are so special, immutable, and sensitive as to not eat anything but pizza (or chicken nuggets, or fries, or grilled cheese, etc.)

LookUponMyWorks (#2,616)

@pissy elliott I mean, this guy has some seriously disordered eating…but the way he describes it def comes off as ‘I just love pizza and won’t eat anything else’ and not someone actually having a severe eating disorder, which I would be very sympathetic to. Reading that made me cringe.

WhyHelloThere (#1,398)

@LookUponMyWorks See, I think he does have an eating disorder, and it sounds like he kind of knows it. He’s seeing a therapist about it. He would like to be able to go to a restaurant that doesn’t serve pizza, and he can’t. I think that he’s sort of developed a way of talking about it that normalizes it, but I don’t think it’s normal, and I feel bad for him.

LookUponMyWorks (#2,616)

This man has diabetes (type 2 from the sound of it) and eats an incredibly carb-rich, protein and fiber poor diet. Yikes.

/concern-trolling over.

Allison (#4,509)

This dude makes me feel better about my personal love of pizza and general eating habits.

jquick (#3,730)

Wonder if it’s frozen, homemade or delivered? If delivered, does he buy several days amount at a time?

littleoaks (#1,801)

I love that he claims to have become a pizzatarian for “moral reasons.”

WhyHelloThere (#1,398)

Oh, and I have been craving pizza all day, and that article didn’t help.

guenna77 (#856)

“i don’t think it’s caused me any problems… oh, did i mention i developed diabetes? but hey, no biggie. my doctor try to give me some crap about that, so i dropped him and found a doctor who won’t tell me things i don’t want to hear”

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