The Cost of Date Night (And the Morning After)

I had this date with a guy I was really excited about (he was a social justice law student!). Since he was a student, we split the cost of our beers. But I also brought a flask because I was broke. We got really drunk, talked about ethical city planning and tenant organizing, and then had a night of romance at my apartment. In the morning I was too hungover to attend the cemetery tour I had already bought a ticket to, and I had to borrow money from my best friend to get through the other tasks I needed to do, as shown below. After a week of no communication, the man reached out to say he was “emotionally unavailable” and then I didn’t hear from him for six months. Last month he wrote and apologized. Now he wants to be friends. He’s still on OkCupid if you’re interested.

Date night:
$37, bottle of vodka that was used in flask
$35, beers
$3, pizza
$6, condoms

Morning after:
$1, apple I gave him so he wouldn’t be hungry
$50, plan B
$20, lost cemetery tour ticket
$3, egg and cheese sandwich
$2, artisanal ginger ale
$12.49, box of oxyclean for blood stains
$8, laundry
$25, dinner with best friend to analyze why he wasn’t calling
$12, book he recommended that I was now curious about
$2, box of tissues to cry about his disappearance
$10, pregnancy test
$50, STD test

Total cost: $276.49, my dignity, my optimism


Anon. would totally use her name except, hi mom. 


28 Comments / Post A Comment

halloliebchen (#5,373)

Blood stains?

hotdish (#1,868)

I am so confused about the combination of condoms, Plan B, blood stains, and pregnancy test.

wrappedupinbooks (#1,426)

@hotdish My guess is that the condom broke, but that still doesn’t explain the blood stains. I’m not sure if I want to know about the blood stains… okay no, I totally want to know.

HelloTheFuture (#5,275)

@hotdish You can still get pregnant if the condom breaks during the tail end of your period.

garli (#4,150)

@HelloTheFuture Yeah I know a two year old who was conceived that way.

Also there’s the possibility that the dude had a larger than average peen. Depending on the body it was going into that can cause bleeding if you’re not used to it.

Or if the plan B caused her period to restart – like heavy in the middle of the night.

@hotdish Me too! I would think a broken condom would be mentioned in the crappiness aftermath… and does it make any sense to get STI testing right away?

Also, dollar store pregnancy tests are the way to go.

wrappedupinbooks (#1,426)

@Sarah Rain@facebook maybe this person is just paranoid, which, come on let’s be real here. I can totally get behind that. STDs and babies are among my top three fears too.

jquick (#3,730)

@wrappedupinbooks Which is why you don’t sleep with strangers who don’t care for you.

Ellie (#62)

@HelloTheFuture Only if you were about to ovulate anyway. When people say ‘You can still get pregnant on your period’ this is because it’s possible to have an irregular or really short menstrual cycle where you ovulate very soon after your period. If you have a super regular or really long menstrual cycle, barring some kind of act of god there’s no logical or likely way to get pregnant from having unprotected sex while actually bleeding.
But yes also Plan B can make your period start early (although probably not the very same day?)

LookUponMyWorks (#2,616)

Oh man. That sucks. Sorry. :-(

honey cowl (#1,510)

This guy sounds like a keeper.

CubeRootOfPi (#1,098)

@honey cowl Bullet dodged though, at least?

Sorry about the date, anon.

honey cowl (#1,510)

@CubeRootOfPi FOR SURE

Oh, gosh, big hugs.

EmilyAnomaly (#4,238)

sorry things didn’t work out :(

if I may, run the blood stains under cold water and then splash with hydrogen peroxide; repeat as needed. Launder as normal but avoid the dryer until the stain is gone/no longer easily noticable

sea ermine (#122)

You can get Plan B for free at planned parenthood! They usually give you a couple packs if you ask for it so you can keep them on hand. I’m not sure if this is tied to income though, at the time I was making minimum wage (but also had insurance through my parents that I used for the appointment, so they may not have known my income?) and since I’ve had a salary increase and got my own insurance I’ve had an IUD so I haven’t needed any more plan B.

But it’s worth checking out, it’s always nice to have some on hand for yourself or for friends so you don’t need to find a pharmacy that sells it when you’re already stressing out.

RVA_TXN (#1,461)

You can get an STD check from your local health department for free although I’m not sure what you expected to find so early on since there is an incubation period for all STDs. You should get retested in about a month if you are that concerned.

What book was it? And also, sorry for the craptacular aftermath of your date.

jquick (#3,730)

Do you now understand why you don’t sleep with someone on your first meet up? I wouldn’t even call this a date. You even paid for the condoms? Yeow.

LydiaBennett (#121)

@jquick Did you really think it was necessary to make two identical in tone and content comments? Some people just like to have sex, and it sounded like they hit it off (initially. I’m not condoning the guy’s later behavior). She was careful, used condoms, took plan B and got tested for STIs so maybe take your judgey slut-shamey tone somewhere else.

jquick (#3,730)

@LydiaBennett I like to have sex, and it’s great if she does too. But then she shouldn’t whine about how he too viewed it as just sex, and didn’t want to see her again. If she wants a relationship, which is how I read this (analyzing why he didn’t call. Crying), then she shouldn’t have sex with strangers and expect that to lead to a respective relationship. It took me a very long time to realize this, so I’m advising from personal experience and NOT judgemental.

WayDownSouth (#3,431)

@jquick yes, agreed. If she just wanted a casual root and bonked him on the first date, there’s no emotional investment in a hook-up. No harm, no foul from his perspective. The danger of moving too fast was one of the morals of the story in Frozen (which my daughter and I have seen twice).

Ellie (#62)

You can sleep with someone right away and then go on to have a real relationship! The two are not mutually exclusive. I don’t think they even really bear any relation to one another. What a weird idea. Sleeping with someone right away definitely is not code for “Feel free to not go out with me again.”

needsmoresalt (#3,501)

@jquick I’m glad to see that you’ve got it all figured out to the point where you spend your free time making strangers feel bad on the internet. There’s no one way to get your feelings hurt, and there’s no surefire way to protect them, either. I, personally, have a wonderful partner that I met on the internet and fucked the first time we met. It was a great way for me to learn more about what kind of person he was and whether or not I wanted to see him again, and I assume he felt the same. Does that mean that I think everyone who doesn’t have sex immediately is making a mistake? No. Different people, different experiences, lead to different results.

rukiddingme (#6,017)

@lyddiabennett define “careful.” Yes sex is great. Especially when it’s with the same man who you know doesn’t have an STD because you’ve been married to him for 10 years, he knows just how to turn you on, thinks your hot when you feel like crud, and therefore makes you feel like a million dollars even though you really feel like crud, wants you even after you’ve born 3 beautiful babies and nursed them and your perfect perky breasts are not what they used to be, oh, those abs you spent hours in the gym perfecting now bear stretch marks but he loves that tummy just the same. Sex is amazing, the taste of his mouth, his skin, the smell of his body take you right back to your first time. The softness of his caress brings you to your knees. And after all those years of practice, no words need to be spoken,he knows you, how to please you, how to wait for you, to climax with him. Yes, I too like to have really satisfying sex. I hope one day every reader on this site can have that kind of sex. The kind that take practice and true commitment. The kind that fills you with more than worry about STDs and having to run off to planned parenthood. The kind that brings you to climax every time, multiple times, and reaffirms the love your spouse has for you. “Dating” like this is no way to find it.

AbigailBird (#6,027)

@rukiddingme That’s great and all, but Jesus, sometimes I want to have sex without waiting 10 years, having multiple babies, and adopting the use of the word “tummy.” There’s more than one kind of good sex, but thanks for your patronizing comment against women who haven’t had the good fortune of finding their life partners yet. And if you’re seriously suggesting that I need to wait until I find “the one” until I can have decent sex, I’ll shoot myself first, thanks. (Or, you know, just go have hot sex with another consulting adult, while taking the necessary precautions against STDS and pregnancy.)

Meaghano (#529)

@AbigailBird Also as much as I love that we are publishing erotica in the comments section now, I’d like to remind everyone that your husband can always cheat on you, give you an STD, and send your smug ass running to a Planned Parenthood.

WayDownSouth (#3,431)

@Meaghano yeah, she should stop talking about love and life-long commitment. Let’s spend more time praising the casual hook-up culture that resulted in the original poster crying, alone and unhappy.

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