Martha Stewart’s Daily Beauty Regimen

There is slathering, and then there is SLATHERING. The internet / the universe / humanity received a beautiful gift yesterday via the New York Times, and it came in the form of Martha Stewart sharing a painstaking list of every single product she puts on her face and body. Behold:

I slather myself with serums. First, it’s a toning lotion. Right now it’s either the Yon-Ka Lotion or a more specific spray, like the rose spray from Mario Badescu. I spray my whole face and body and then its Susan Ciminelli Marine Lotion from head to toe. I use the same products on my body as I use on my face. I don’t think there’s really any difference between the two, so the more moisturizers and serums you use, the better off you are. Then I might use a vitamin B or SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic serum. I’ll also put on Clé de Peau or SkinCeuticals moisturizer. With all of these serums, I find I don’t have to put on an eye cream, although my facialist insists I put one on. Sometimes, I will and the Clé de Peau is good or Caudalie has one — it’s the fancy one from their high-end line — and it’s very good, too. At the end, before any makeup, I use SkinCeuticals Physical Fusion UV Defense. If I’m not going to use foundation, I’ll use the tinted version, or if I use foundation, it’ll be the white one. Otherwise, I do my best to stay out of the sun. That’s very important. I do a lot of outdoor activity like gardening and I try to cover up and do SPF. Actually, I just bought a new sun hat that goes over your riding helmet. It’s pretty ugly, but it works.

If I’m traveling that day, I’ll be sure to have my Yon-Ka Lotion with me, which is a spray. On a recent plane ride to L.A., I sprayed myself five times. It’s hydrating, so I don’t look like a prune after flying.

Emphasis mine, because I want to see a photo of that.

Now after you read the whole thing and are finished lying prostrate and rending your garments, you may have a few questions. Namely, “Hey how much does this shit cost anyway?” Lucky for us, Jolie Kerr, hero, has already done the legwork. Over at Jezebel she has done some detailed accounting of the cost of everything listed, and honestly, the damage is not as bad as I suspected.

Totaling about $2,000, some of these products are “Girl you sprayed that how many times a day?” expensive, but some are “I just got paid and am gonna buy some nice lip gloss” expensive (Buxom lip gloss, $19, anyone recommend it, and if so what color should I get?). Though that means $2,000 to buy all of it once so like yeah that eye cream is $250, but it is only 15 mL, and apparently 15 mL is ONE TABLESPOON, so even if you are only supposed to apply “a single grain of rice” to each of your eye bags every day (I guess have your pet spider take care of this step for you, if available), you are going to be re-upping on some $250 Clé de Peau on the regular.

WORTH IT.

Photo: david_shankbone

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15 Comments / Post A Comment

andnowlights (#2,902)

Man, I can only dream to look as awesome as she does, though, at her age. Wouldn’t shock me that she’s had some minor work done, but she looks awesome.

Stina (#686)

@andnowlights And she doesn’t have the “I have clearly been tucked” look either. That’s a good surgeon. Sort of the problem with finding out who is a good plastic surgeon really. Those who do the best work result in patients where it’s not obvious so you don’t know to ask who their surgeon is.

My thought process at 40: I don’t care about wrinkles but the turkey neck thing bugs me. But I find that my levels of not giving a f*ck increase every year so if/when I get one maybe I won’t care.

@Stina Oh, yes, the fear of turkey neck. I’ve always been very good about wearing sunscreen and skincare on my face, but I have neglected my neck, and maybe I’m being overly critical, but I think it shows. I’m also fearful of sagging jowls, which kind of runs in my family, and have been restraining myself from buying some firming goop for my neck.

And while there seemed to be some comments on other sites about how much money she spends, is there something completely out of whack with my spending that I was surprised how low the amount was? She’s Martha fucking Stewart, after all, so I’m surprised she’s not rubbing herself in vats of millions of diamonds to exfoliate. Many of those serums and creams will last several months even with fairly regular use. If I totaled what I use, I’m afraid it wouldn’t be all that much lower (and I don’t have Martha Stewart money to blow.) My collection of NARS lip pencils alone probably could have funded a plane ticket someplace cool, but then again, day-to-day life would have been less colorful and fun. I re-up my Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair about once every three or four months, so I’m spending apparently $250 or so a year on that alone. But I have a Clarins oil that I bought last year, for $50, and I’ve used maybe 1/4 of the bottle.

@Stina I just had what amounts to an insurance-covered nose job (I had a severely deviated septum from a car accident a while ago), and the surgeon did some minor tweaks that really changed my nose for the better. And NO ONE can tell, it’s awesome. I just look a tad ‘better’, especially in photos and things.

Since the surgery,my opinion on celeb surgery almost always errs to the “yes, they’ve had it” side-good work is almost unnoticeable, which is the terrifying part of it.

andnowlights (#2,902)

@Stina My coworkers and I were just comparing Cher’s plastic surgery to Martha’s. The differences are HUGE because Martha’s is so well-executed. I’m 27 and can say with no hesitation that I will probably get work done at some point in the (very far away) future, if not fillers then something more invasive. I have promised my husband I won’t get Botox, though.

LookUponMyWorks (#2,616)

The Equivisor: http://www.doversaddlery.com/equivisor/p/X1-36205/

You’re welcome.

Meaghano (#529)

@LookUponMyWorks omg thank you. sadly this is not the straw, panama jack type of sunhat over a riding cap that I was imagining in my head, but I guess it makes sense.

andnowlights (#2,902)

@LookUponMyWorks Once you order from Dover, you will get 10 emails every day and 3 catalogs every single week. Just saying, in case you were thinking about ordering it.

LookUponMyWorks (#2,616)

@andnowlights ah, but I treasure those catalogs…

andnowlights (#2,902)

@LookUponMyWorks I think I would treasure them more if I were actually riding again. That’s one of my “action items” for this year, though, to start riding again.

aardvark (#3,451)

“You’d be the most…moist”

umlauts (#977)

What about Pine Brothers Softish Throat Drops???? WHAT ABOUT THEM???

Also, WHAT ARE THEM???

Meaghano (#529)

@umlauts omg look who graces their website precluding us from seeing literally anything else but this video: http://www.pinebrothers.com/

ok so they are $3.19/pack with 26 drops in a pack. Say she eats (eats?) two a day, that’s 28 packs a year and roughly $90 plus tax.

Winter (#4,527)

@Stina I’m a 40-something too. The older I get the less I care and the more silly it all seems. That’s a crazy regimen every day. Martha is famous for not getting much sleep though. Personally, the best anti-aging regimen is 8 hours of sleep every night and you can probably skip most of the serums.

annev17 (#4,822)

I hope one day I’ll be able to use the phrase “my facialist”

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