Where’d you last hundo go, Devon Maloney?
$5. Coffee and a muffin that almost killed me via its hidden landmine pecans.
$17. Two beers at the bar where I watched the Breaking Bad finale with a bunch of Park Slope bros because I do not have cable.
$76. Two (ON SALE!!!!!) leotards from American Apparel because I am irresponsible and also appreciate a good neckline and also it’s for winter so I CAN LIVE. [FACT CHECK: With or without legs?] Without, that’s a unitard, dummy. Unitards are with legs, leotards are without.
$9. To ride the Coney Island Cyclone. I was at Coney Island because I’d gone there with a band to interview them the weekend before, but, when they got there, they didn’t want to ride any of the rides and I got seriously sad enough to lug my friend Lindsay with me the next weekend to fulfill my dreams. It was worth every penny.
Devon Maloney lives in Brooklyn.