How Soon Can I Start Complaining About My New Job?

TO: Logan
FROM: Marie
SUBJECT: no subject

I had a job I hated for a long time. It dominated my life and it was terrible. But now it’s over. I have a new job. The new job saved me from the old job. I love the new job for that. But that’s about all I love about the new job. It’s so boring. The office smells. There isn’t anyone my age. It’s been a month. I’m going to stay at this job at least a year, I’ve already decided but my question for you is this: When am I allowed to start complaining about it? So far I’ve been getting a vibe from my friends that my life is supposed to be perfect because I left my old job, but it’s not. I want to speak my truth. But I also don’t want them to be like, oh, that Marie, never happy about anything, what a drag.

TO: Marie
FROM: Logan
SUBJECT: Re: no subject

I’m sorry that your last job sucked. I’m sorry your new job is not perfect. But: I think you need to wait a little bit before you complain about the new job. Give your friends a break. And give yourself a break, too. I’m sure there are a lot of things about your new job that suck. There are a lot of things about all jobs that sucks!

But I think it’s too early for you to forget the things about your old job that sucked. This new job is not your old job. This is a big, big thing. An exciting, wonderful thing. Change is great. You’ve got all kinds of new things to learn, about the job and about yourself. Focus on that. Make a few lists. All the things that sucked about your old job. All the things you used to complain about. The things you’re finding annoying now, write them down, too. So you’ve learned a fragrance-free workspace is important to you. That’s a good thing to know, part of a master list of all the things you’ll want as you continue on your journey to orchestrate your best life.

Then see what you can do to make this situation work better for you. Get an air freshener and a desk fan. Ask for more work if you’re bored. Do more work on your own. Or read a book, if there really isn’t anything to do. Sudoku. Write poems. And as far as having no people your age at your job, don’t be an ageist. Cross-generational friendships are it. Ask your coworkers questions about their lives. Give it some time. And if you’re really unhappy and need your friends’ input, by all means, talk to them. But it sounds like you just want to rant. Which, why?



8 Comments / Post A Comment

Great advice Logan! Sometimes we can get so focused on the things we don’t like, we don’t take the time to see good things. Just because you’re coworkers are older doesn’t mean you have nothing in common. Ask people out to lunch or chit chat about weekend plans in the break room. You’ll be surprised about the inner workings of people lives. If anything you can see if anyone would want to be your mentor. You can definitely learn something (positive or negative) about how you want your career path to look .

jquick (#3,730)

Not liking you’re job again? Thats why it’s called Work. Don’t know what kind of job this is, but you may be surrounded by a wealth of knowledge. Learn from them. Learn the history of your profession. Why there are certain laws in place (becuz xx happened). How they did things pre computer. Where they think this biz is going. I suggest spreading the questions around instead of bombarding just one person. I have found that usually no matter how busy someone is, they will stop to take the time to answer you. And write it down! Generally speaking, I have found younger workers aren’t keen on taking notes.

If there is a complicated topic, approach one person to ask (for example) What does hedging mean? Then, later, approach someone else and say I understand hedging means zzz, but how do we use it? Then later, someone else, asking why don’t we hedge kk? And keep on going. Besides learning something, this will also get you Brownie Points.

ceereelyo (#3,552)

great advice Logan! Ask questions and totes on the cross-generational friendships! I am 30 and I am friends with some of the youngest in our office – 24 and some of the oldest -62. I learn from and teach/pass on my knowledge to both ends of the spectrum and it’s really just widen my scope on life, work, everything.

I also have a coworker who is on the verge of looking/is looking for a new job. She is a very miserable person and with every job she has there’s always something ‘wrong’ with it. This one it’s because she’s being passed over for certain promotions (one of which I got) that she never took initiative to show that she wanted, never asked questions. It’s been like this with every position she has worked, and it’s hard to tell her that maybe it’s something wrong with her and that she isn’t happy with her life and etc etc. Work is work, and you can make it what you will. if you don’t want to engage in the work you’re doing, the Internet is amazing at killing time and perhaps help you find another job if this one is too much to bear. Also, a year can fly by (I personally cannot believe we’re at October’s door) so you’ll probably be out of there sooner than you think. Good luck!

aetataureate (#1,310)

One of the major surprises of my worklife is that I genuinely enjoy my all-ages coworkers at this suburban, corporate job more than I enjoyed the totally fine and nice twentysomethings at a dot-com in the city. Intergenerational friendships yes!

boringbunny (#3,260)

another important thing to note is that your friends are your network and a good way to get jobs in the future. not saying your friends don’t love you but if you are constantly complaining about everything in your jobs they will less likely want to 1) work with you or 2) recommend you for a job that you will eventually be complaining to them about even though they stuck their necks out to get it for you. not saying you have to keep it all in but being a ball of negative energy – that’s a good way to suck all the positive energy out of your friendships and future prospects.

great advice, logan!

Lily Rowan (#70)

One time, many years ago, a friend told me you have to give a new job four months before you even know if you like it or not. I bet she wouldn’t even remember saying it, but it is totally true, and I have held on to it! So give it four months.

Lily Rowan (#70)

Also, a job being immediately boring means you should be more ambitious next time. A new job should be scary for more than a month, I think.

aetataureate (#1,310)

@Lily Rowan I love this advice.

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