Can’t Afford to Travel But Can Totally Afford to Be a Travel Snob

Most of the email newsletters I’ve signed up for go to spam. The ones that don’t, I wish they did. Exception: The Travelzoo Weekly Top 20, which alerts me to the very best in airfare, hotels, and all-inclusive vacation packages that I have never and will never buy. I devour it each week.

“$699 — Costa Rica 6-Night Adventure w/SUV Rental & Air” driving in the jungle nope

“$99 — Florida Keys: Suite at Beach Resort, 60% Off” nope

“$349 — Caribbean 7-Night Holiday Cruise, $150 Off” i could be talked into some trashy good old American fun on a boat, lemme just open that in a new tab, sure

“$149 — Luxe Atlantic City Resort incl. $100 Credit” nope

“$566 — New York City to Iceland Nonstop (R/T, w/Tax)” it’s kind of a cliche—”oh i’m going to iceland”—but i’m going to open it in a new tab rn anyway

“$1699 — Peru & Machu Picchu 8-Night Trip w/Air, Save $1950″ to be honest i never have been interested in machu picchu that’s ok right

“$399 — Vermont 2-Night Culinary & Spa Escape, Reg. $792″ lol this sounds like something a women’s magazine would tell you to do to reconnect with your hubs, no

“$104 & up — Toronto Fare Sale from Across U.S. (One Way)” zzz i don’t know anything about toronto

“$39.50 — ‘Zumanity’ by Cirque du Soleil in Vegas, Reg. $69″ nope

“$799 — Jamaica All-Inclusive Getaway from NYC, Save 50%” new tab sure why not

“$99 — New Hampshire Mountain Resort incl. $50 Credit” i really don’t like the word resort, it’s a real turn off, real turn off

“$149 — Virgin America Fall Fare Sale from NYC (One Way)” no thx richy b this sounds like a lot of work

“$1199 — Puerto Vallarta: All-Inclusive Winter Trip from NYC” idk where that is … new tab (adventure)

“$15 & up — NYC Weekend Deals: Beers & Broadway Shows” no this feels icky to me, i don’t like it, where do you get the beers, where do you get the broadway, no i don’t like it

“$179 — San Diego 4-Star Hotel incl. Breakfast, Reg. $339″ nope

“$949 — Buenos Aires & Santiago Fare Sale from NYC (R/T)” buenos aires is over isn’t it? i think i read that it’s over

“$1199 — Italy: Rome, Florence & Venice 6-Night Trip w/Air” 3 cities in 6 days is 2 too many cities

“$199 — Hawaii: ‘Gold List’ Big Island Resort, Save $120″ nope

“$1039 & up — Germany Nonstop Fall Fare Sale (R/T w/Tax)” lol oktoberfest tourists what a nightmare nope nope nope

“$2199 — Cuba 5-Night Escorted Trip w/Meals & Air, $790 Off” escorted? escorted by whom? too tame, i want adventure

~deletes email, never clicks on opened tabs again, eagerly awaits next week’s email~

 

 

Photo: Madeleine Holland

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8 Comments / Post A Comment

Weasley (#1,419)

Going to Iceland is a cliche?

Catface (#1,106)

@Weasley Conversation Among certain demographics! Here is a conversation I have had at least half a dozen times. Friend: “Oh guess what, I am going to Iceland next month.” Me: “Hey that’s great. But did you talk to [name of mutual friend who recently went to Iceland]? He said the food was lousy and drinks cost a fortune, it’s beautiful once you get into the country but he’d rather have gone to Barcelona.” Friend: “But it’s Iceland! You have to go to Iceland at least once, right? Iceland, how exciting is that?!” There seems to be this list that people know about, and Iceland is for sure on it.

Don’t get me wrong — Maldon salt is the same kind of cliche, and I love the stuff and don’t care who gives me the side-eye about it.

@fo (#839)

@Catface ‘Maldon salt’

Until Iceland ranks first in some ‘taste’ test–like Maldon; see http://www.slate.com/articles/life/shopping/2005/04/worth_ones_salt.single.html –there is a meaningful difference. Picking the best something is different from picking one more something from some list.

Now, if you’re one of those who say “oh, no, I don’t want any salt on my (corn/popcorn/salad/whatever) unless it’s Maldon”, then you deserve all the side-eye you might get.

Weasley (#1,419)

@Catface

Weird. My boyfriend and I got Iceland a bunch because we have good friends there and there’s an awesome music festival. But I haven’t met anyone else who think about going to Iceland. The beer is bad. If you go to Iceland don’t even try with beer. I disagree with your friend about the food.

megsy (#1,565)

@Catface I agree with this, it seems like everyone and their cat is going to Iceland. Now I’m over Iceland. No interest anymore.

thejacqueline (#799)

@Weasley Haha, relevant because I am going to Iceland in November. I think it’s becoming a “thing” because Iceland Air is running a lot of inexpensive deals & it’s reallllly close to NYC – I can fly to Iceland or California in the same amount of time, so I might as well spend an extended weekend in a new country.

Runawaytwin (#2,693)

last year i wound up in Turkey for 2 weeks thanks to one of those emails. It was amazing. Tourist-y or not- I saw a country- and part of a country (cause it was a bus tour) that I would have NEVER gone to on my own. I was looking for a new trip as soon as I came back

I went to Belize through one of these sale emails! I was SO NERVOUS that it was going to be a big scam but everything was wonderful and we had the best time. But yes, I actually have a few Travelzoo deals bookmarked you know, just in case.

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