No Apologies

“When you refuse to apologize, it actually makes you feel more empowered,” he said. “That power and control seems to translate into greater feelings of self-worth.”

Okay, fine, but refusing to apologize when you’re clearly in the wrong can also make people hate you. Related.

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10 Comments / Post A Comment

This is terrible advice.

@KathleenD@twitter Sorry you feel that way.

aetataureate (#1,310)

@KathleenD@twitter “Well, actually, there are huge interpersonal costs in not apologizing and not just between individuals, between groups. I mean, think about conflicts that have been stuck for decades because one side can’t tell another side, look, we’re really sorry about what we did. The value of Okimoto’s research is it starts to get a handle on why people find it so hard to apologize.”

It wasn’t advice.

WayDownSouth (#3,431)

I generally find that people who can’t apologise and always have to be correct are tremendously insecure. Refusing to apologise when you know that you’re wrong is something which people should grow out of at a relatively early age.

aetataureate (#1,310)

@WayDownSouth “[B]eing able to apologize is not a sign of weakness. It’s actually a sign of strength because if you look at the people who find it difficult to apologize, it’s people who feel threatened, people who feel an apology would somehow make them extremely vulnerable.”

notpollyanna (#2,841)

My experience with this: mental health care professionals. Yes, it has made me hate them. This also tends to go hand-in-hand with emotional abuse. Ugggh.

aetataureate (#1,310)

Is this a safe space in which to admit I really, truly love Shankar Vedantam? His reporting totally delights me.

@aetataureate Yes, I picked up on that.

aetataureate (#1,310)

@KathleenD@twitter I see what you did there.

I’m not sorry I actually read the piece, if you wondered.

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