WWYD: Grandma’s Costume Jewelry
Today on “WWYD,” selling grandma’s jewelry:
My paternal grandmother passed away several years ago, and she bequeathed all her fine jewelry to my sisters because apparently I “don’t want to look pretty” (sic). Grandmama had issues. It’s mostly water under the bridge as far as I’m concerned.
So, since I didn’t get any of the nice things, my sisters gave me all her costume jewelry boxes. They’ve been sitting in my storage space for a while and I’ve just recently had a chance to go through them. As far as I know, nobody has thought of them since the day we cleaned out Grandmama’s house.
Approximately half the pieces are nice vintage costume jewelry, and half are of no value. There are a handful of them that looked like the type of thing that could be collectable, so I took them in to be appraised. They all were appraised for a decent amount of value and I’m keeping most of them for myself. However, there is one hideous brooch I don’t see any reason to keep that was also appraised for the highest amount of money (low four figures). I figure I have three courses of action:
1) Sell the brooch, pocket the cash, don’t tell anyone.
2) Sell the brooch, split the cash among my sisters.
3) Don’t sell the brooch, but offer it to my sisters to see if any of
them want to buy it for the appraised value and split the cash with
the others.
WWYD? — K.
I sorta can’t get over that first paragraph, but when it comes to family heirlooms (and I’m going to just go ahead and call grandma’s jewelry family heirlooms), it’s a good idea to give your kin a heads up before you do something like sell it.
“I’m not into this brooch, and would like to sell it unless anyone has an objections to that,” I’d tell my sisters.
The money is a separate issue. If one of your sisters mentioned that she was planning on selling one of grandma’s fine jewelry pieces now in her possession, would you all expect to split the money from that sale? If yes, sell the brooch and split the cash to avoid any family drama. If not, why do you feel you must split the cash from the sale of the brooch? Did your sisters give you the costume jewelry with caveats? If the costume jewelry is now yours, that cash should just be yours.
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I’m probably the only one who is going to say this, but I wouldn’t split the cash with anyone or even consider it… for all you know, your sisters could have sold some of the “fine” jewellery. I’d probably just sell it and not say anything. It doesn’t sound like it has much sentimental value since no one has said anything for several years and realistically it sounds like it would just sit around gathering dust.
@megsy I’m 100% with you. UNLESS the sisters have been selling stuff and splitting the money.
@megsy I’m thirding megsy and Lily Rowan. Unless your sisters placed conditions on the gift of your grandma’s costume jewelry, it’s yours, period, and it’s up to you what you want to do with it.
@megsy Yes I agree. Don’t split it. If they wanted to be treated fairly they should have treated you fairly when it was first divided up, and it’s not like they’ve thought twice about the costume jewelry since. What a nice surprise for you!
@Michelle Yup my thoughts exactly, they didn’t offer to share anything they thought was valuable, so sell it and enjoy the surprise all by yourself.
If they got diamonds, and you got a hideous brooch, they’d be jerks to expect a portion of the proceeds.
@cmcm But have you ever tried to sell a diamond?
It seems like the jewellery left in your possession was meant to be a consolation so I say do with it what you like. Inheritance drama is the worst kind of family drama. I’d just sell it, it’s likely no one will ever notice.
Um NO, do NOT split it with your sisters. Sell it and keep it all for yourself. If your sisters were concerned with fairness they would have given you some of the “good stuff” instead of boxes full of what they thought was worthless.
Related story: my grandmother gave my cousin (her fave granddaughter) her biggest diamond ring. Turns out it was a big CZ! LOLOLOL. My sister and I got the highest value items because they had real diamonds in them, even though they were smaller.
@olivia LOL! This is a funny story.
Going anon for this one: I’m the LW and here are some more details.
- My sisters got fairly valuable precious stone and metal jewelry passed down from my Victorian ancestors. I don’t know if they still own them (I believe they do – we’re very sentimental) and we haven’t discussed it as a group – basically, each person owns her own inheritance and does what she wants with it.
- The brooch has a small (about the size of a quarter) piece of Burmese jade carved into a crude human face in the middle of it. I suspect Grandmama bought it on vacation or got it as a gift since I never saw her wear it. The price of Burmese jade has skyrocketed, but the ugliness of the carving brings the value way down, so it’s worth a nice amount of money but not enough to pay off my student loans or anything.
I’m still waffling on informing my sisters per Mike’s advice or just selling it. I might be kicking a hornet’s nest either way.
@NoName SELL ITTT and tell no one. If this jewelry has sat in a dusty box for years and none of you ever saw your grandmother even wearing it there is no need for you to hold on to it.
@NoName Ditto julnyes, SELL and tell no one! No one even knows it exists, so it won’t be kicking a hornet’s nest! And there is NOTHING shady about selling something that belongs to you.
@NoName I actually work in an industry that deals with this stuff a lot! i wouldn’t tell them you had it appraised for a value, because there’s a pretty good chance that you won’t see anywhere near the appraised value. If you mention that is was appraised at ‘x’ and come back with ‘y’ cash in hand, they might accuse you of siphoning off some of the funds. Just let it go for what you can get for it and enjoy the money.
@loren smith Oh, good point. Thanks.
@NoName Sell it and don’t bother sharing. It’s not like they unknowingly made you a millionaire when they gave you ownership of it. Think: if one of your sisters were to become very hard up financially and decided to sell one of the nice pieces would she feel obligated to split the money before paying the debt? (Probably not, as she would now be selling her own possession, just like you would.)
@loren smith Good point on the difference between “appraised at” and “sold for”. Appraisals are often used to determine value for insurance purposes and thus tend to be on the high end of an estimate of worth. If you do sell, LW, be prepared to receive considerably less than the appraisal estimate (and maybe you’ll be pleasantly surprised if it sells for a lot!).
I would definitely NOT say “… unless anyone has any objections to that” — sounds like a good way to get stuck with a brooch you hate, and no money, because someone in your family has BUT GRANDMAMA’S BROOCH HOW COULD YOU feelings even if they wouldn’t be caught dead wearing it themselves. I do think it’s a nice idea to offer it to your sisters first — at the appraised value, or for whatever price you consider fair, or (if this is something you’d be into) as a trade for one of the jewelry pieces they got that you like. But don’t open yourself up to the option of them preventing you from selling it without offering you something in return.
As far as splitting the proceeds if you do sell it, the only reasons I would do that would be:
1) if your sisters have been selling parts of their inheritance and splitting the proceeds with all of you, or
2) if it’s SO unexpectedly valuable that you feel like it messes up any consideration you guys gave to making sure you all got about the same amount of stuff. (It doesn’t sound like this is the case, since you say “low 4 figures,” but, like, if you had taken it on Antiques Roadshow and discovered it was actually worth fifty grand or something.)
@Elsajeni You make a lot of sense. Thanks.