$99 Gets You a Phone Call

Over at Grantland, Rembert Browne has an in-depth look at Thuzio, a service by Tiki Barber that allows fans to connect with some of their favorite athletes of yore (and a few current ones) for a price. Here’s some of the more active things you could pay for:

Wrestle with wrestler Ellis Coleman: $500, and there’s NO TIME LIMIT.

Box with former boxer Randy Neumann: $500.

Water ski with water skier Camille Duvall: $250.

Sail with sailor Dawn Riley, on her sailboat because she’s got it like that, and she’ll probably cook for you since that’s how she rolls: $3,000

Fence with fencer Soren Thompson: $400

Run with runner Dean Karnazes: $1,500-$2,500

Squash with squasher Chris Walker: $500 (I know they’re not called “squashers,” but I had a good thing going with the, er, scheme, OK?)

You could choose to pay for other less intense experiences as well, like a 10-minute phone call with a former Lakers star for $99. This reminds me of those 1-900 numbers from the ’80s and ’90s that people would call to get a prerecorded message from celebrities. I’m not sure there’s anyone I’d pay money to hang out with, and I’d feel better about this venture if the money people paid went to the charities of the athlete’s choice. Is there anyone you’d spend hundreds if not thousands to hang out with? You can pay $100 to hang out with me and talk about money. Just kidding. I’m free.

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5 Comments / Post A Comment

Kobayashi is on there!

I woulda died for some of these as a kid though. My friends and I used to rent out a rink and play hours of ice hockey at like midnight since it was the only time we could afford. Would’ve been cool to hire a NY Ranger for a group lesson.

Worker Parasite (#2,292)

Not the same as charity, but one of the hockey players was, not so long ago, one of Canada’s most notorious deadbeat dads, so maybe if you hire him the money would go towards paying child support? Also, the article states that Curtis Greer is giving all of his money from this to his alma matter, which is kinda rad. Too bad more of them aren’t doing that.

readyornot (#816)

Mike Dang, you should really value yourself more highly than that.

boringbunny (#3,260)

I liked the comment in the article: “Wait, is this sadder for the buyer or the athlete?” I read this article a day or so ago and I still haven’t figured out the answer.

awk (#840)

Tiki Barber got divorced a couple years back after he retired from football. He must have come out on the losing end of that deal, because this is his new venture after failing to make a comeback to professional football. The list of available athlete experiences seem to indicate individuals in similar situations. The whole thing is sad.

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