Comments on: Depression and Money, Some Real Talk http://thebillfold.com/2013/01/depression-and-money-some-real-talk/ Everything About Money You Were Too Polite To Ask Mon, 20 May 2013 00:46:24 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Monty Liss@facebook http://thebillfold.com/2013/01/depression-and-money-some-real-talk/#comment-46641 Monty Liss@facebook Sat, 27 Apr 2013 09:11:34 +0000 http://thebillfold.com/?p=21829#comment-46641 @Rod I sure felt a lot better when I had to move and off load 50% of my crap. It was quite liberating. Your post reminded me of what someone said, that got me to face my depression. A guy in a meeting at work was talking about a tough spot we were in and he said we had the choice to be "paralyzed by our predicament or energized by the opportunities it creates". It appears that you have chosen energized. I'm pretty certain that this isn't going to work for everyone, but congrats to you. @Rod I sure felt a lot better when I had to move and off load 50% of my crap. It was quite liberating. Your post reminded me of what someone said, that got me to face my depression. A guy in a meeting at work was talking about a tough spot we were in and he said we had the choice to be “paralyzed by our predicament or energized by the opportunities it creates”. It appears that you have chosen energized.

I’m pretty certain that this isn’t going to work for everyone, but congrats to you.

]]> By: Monty Liss@facebook http://thebillfold.com/2013/01/depression-and-money-some-real-talk/#comment-46640 Monty Liss@facebook Sat, 27 Apr 2013 08:54:44 +0000 http://thebillfold.com/?p=21829#comment-46640 Thank you so much for this article. I went to a physician today for the first time related to "there is something wrong with me". I thought I must just have some sort of anxiety or something because I have never considered suicide. Wow I was wrong. I didn't realize I have always been depressed. I assumed everyone lived like I did, just getting by. Starting my first medication in the morning. I did want to pass along a trick that has worked for me that allowed me to shop without spending money. Actually I was broke and couldn't get my shopping fix. I started adding items to my shopping cart on Amazon, thinking I would be back when I had money to buy the items. A few days later I am shopping again, and I realize I hated everything I add to my cart the last time. I just emptied my cart and started all over. Now I fill my cart with everything that I want, running up an imaginary tab into the $1000. I get my pick-me-up, then I dump the cart and start shopping again, never actually purchasing anything. In my case it satisfies "current me" without damaging "future me". Thank you so much for this article. I went to a physician today for the first time related to “there is something wrong with me”. I thought I must just have some sort of anxiety or something because I have never considered suicide. Wow I was wrong. I didn’t realize I have always been depressed. I assumed everyone lived like I did, just getting by. Starting my first medication in the morning.

I did want to pass along a trick that has worked for me that allowed me to shop without spending money. Actually I was broke and couldn’t get my shopping fix. I started adding items to my shopping cart on Amazon, thinking I would be back when I had money to buy the items. A few days later I am shopping again, and I realize I hated everything I add to my cart the last time. I just emptied my cart and started all over. Now I fill my cart with everything that I want, running up an imaginary tab into the $1000. I get my pick-me-up, then I dump the cart and start shopping again, never actually purchasing anything. In my case it satisfies “current me” without damaging “future me”.

]]> By: JulieDee http://thebillfold.com/2013/01/depression-and-money-some-real-talk/#comment-31842 JulieDee Wed, 23 Jan 2013 22:31:08 +0000 http://thebillfold.com/?p=21829#comment-31842 @Maladydee This is exactly the discussion go thru with myself like, every single day. Some days I win, but those days I say Fuck it and just splurge, those pretty much just ruin everything. And then the unhelpful voice in my head says, "well, if I ended up splurging anyways, why did I spend all those days agonising over it and wasting my willpower on trying to avoid random purchases, when I just ended up blowing my budget in the end anyways?" and I end up feeling bad anyways... So yeah, I totally get what you're talking about @Maladydee This is exactly the discussion go thru with myself like, every single day. Some days I win, but those days I say Fuck it and just splurge, those pretty much just ruin everything. And then the unhelpful voice in my head says, “well, if I ended up splurging anyways, why did I spend all those days agonising over it and wasting my willpower on trying to avoid random purchases, when I just ended up blowing my budget in the end anyways?” and I end up feeling bad anyways… So yeah, I totally get what you’re talking about

]]> By: km1312 http://thebillfold.com/2013/01/depression-and-money-some-real-talk/#comment-31623 km1312 Tue, 22 Jan 2013 20:21:03 +0000 http://thebillfold.com/?p=21829#comment-31623 @sophia_h I think you're being kind of rough on Rod here. Based on my reading, he's not telling anyone else that their way of dealing with depression/anxiety is wrong, just explaining how he does it. If facing his feelings and using them as part of his art help him, good for him. It wouldn't work for everyone, but he's found a helpful system, which is really all that any of us are looking for, right? @sophia_h I think you’re being kind of rough on Rod here. Based on my reading, he’s not telling anyone else that their way of dealing with depression/anxiety is wrong, just explaining how he does it. If facing his feelings and using them as part of his art help him, good for him. It wouldn’t work for everyone, but he’s found a helpful system, which is really all that any of us are looking for, right?

]]> By: LAP http://thebillfold.com/2013/01/depression-and-money-some-real-talk/#comment-31506 LAP Mon, 21 Jan 2013 22:39:26 +0000 http://thebillfold.com/?p=21829#comment-31506 Thank you so much for the great article! I (rather naively) thought I was the only one who went in for the 'hate spend' (as I term it). The therapy thing is tricky - I know it's good for me but would really like to not have that weekly $100 expense. I suspect though that getting out of it would just be another way of avoiding my 'issues'. So heartening to see people talking about depression in a way I can relate to - knowing people who've had serious self-harming depression I always feel uncomfortable describing my relatively high-functioning situation in that same language. Please write more like this! Thank you so much for the great article! I (rather naively) thought I was the only one who went in for the ‘hate spend’ (as I term it).

The therapy thing is tricky – I know it’s good for me but would really like to not have that weekly $100 expense. I suspect though that getting out of it would just be another way of avoiding my ‘issues’.

So heartening to see people talking about depression in a way I can relate to – knowing people who’ve had serious self-harming depression I always feel uncomfortable describing my relatively high-functioning situation in that same language.

Please write more like this!

]]> By: Greenbeans http://thebillfold.com/2013/01/depression-and-money-some-real-talk/#comment-31486 Greenbeans Mon, 21 Jan 2013 16:06:46 +0000 http://thebillfold.com/?p=21829#comment-31486 I've returned to this article several times intending to comment. I see a lot of my own experience reflected here. I have learned (or rather, am constantly re-learning, since I constantly forget) that a sad trip to a museum or a sad play, or even just going sad running and being outside, will do more to lift my mood than buying a sad pair or pants or a tiny sad sweater. The impulse to spend money to cheer myself up is constant; the trick is understanding what actually does and does not make me happy. Because within the spectrum of my depression, I am actually capable of a kind of happiness, and even though the motivation required to buy a pair of pants is far less than the motivation required to, say, get my ass downtown to one of the world-class museums in the city where I live, past experience has shown me that spending money on experience (especially experience that forces me to confront the ways in which other people live in and interact with the world, such as art!) is far more rewarding than spending money on material things. Of course, I bought a $32 pair of sad shoes that were deeply discounted at j crew over the weekend and I am totally going to wear them today. Looking at them makes me really happy right now. It will not make me as happy in a few weeks. Sigh. I’ve returned to this article several times intending to comment. I see a lot of my own experience reflected here. I have learned (or rather, am constantly re-learning, since I constantly forget) that a sad trip to a museum or a sad play, or even just going sad running and being outside, will do more to lift my mood than buying a sad pair or pants or a tiny sad sweater. The impulse to spend money to cheer myself up is constant; the trick is understanding what actually does and does not make me happy. Because within the spectrum of my depression, I am actually capable of a kind of happiness, and even though the motivation required to buy a pair of pants is far less than the motivation required to, say, get my ass downtown to one of the world-class museums in the city where I live, past experience has shown me that spending money on experience (especially experience that forces me to confront the ways in which other people live in and interact with the world, such as art!) is far more rewarding than spending money on material things.

Of course, I bought a $32 pair of sad shoes that were deeply discounted at j crew over the weekend and I am totally going to wear them today. Looking at them makes me really happy right now. It will not make me as happy in a few weeks. Sigh.

]]> By: smartastic http://thebillfold.com/2013/01/depression-and-money-some-real-talk/#comment-31463 smartastic Mon, 21 Jan 2013 03:54:01 +0000 http://thebillfold.com/?p=21829#comment-31463 @pocketchange There is definitely logic, but it doesn't stem from the wellbeing of the patient. @pocketchange There is definitely logic, but it doesn’t stem from the wellbeing of the patient.

]]> By: pocketchange http://thebillfold.com/2013/01/depression-and-money-some-real-talk/#comment-31434 pocketchange Sun, 20 Jan 2013 16:04:10 +0000 http://thebillfold.com/?p=21829#comment-31434 @franceschances Not if you're British, it doesn't have to be! It's not until reading this that I realised how lucky I am to be a (depressed) Brit - I'm still at university, so regular doctor appointments, my weekly therapy sessions and my prescriptions are all free of charge. I can't fathom the logic of loading people who are already struggling to keep afloat with the extra pressure of struggling to pay for treatment. @franceschances Not if you’re British, it doesn’t have to be! It’s not until reading this that I realised how lucky I am to be a (depressed) Brit – I’m still at university, so regular doctor appointments, my weekly therapy sessions and my prescriptions are all free of charge. I can’t fathom the logic of loading people who are already struggling to keep afloat with the extra pressure of struggling to pay for treatment.

]]> By: pocketchange http://thebillfold.com/2013/01/depression-and-money-some-real-talk/#comment-31433 pocketchange Sun, 20 Jan 2013 16:01:40 +0000 http://thebillfold.com/?p=21829#comment-31433 I actually found this really interesting reading - I've been suffering from depression for about 9 months now, but only sought help in around September. I found that being in control of my spending was in fact a symptom of my depression - telling myself I was being thrifty and smart with money was a really good way to avoid going out, doing the things I enjoy with friends, or eating three meals a day. I think I got a real feeling of control from the self-restraint of 'subsistence living.' It's only now I can see that I wasn't buying anything because attaching myself to more material goods anchored my existence in a way, which was something I wanted to avoid. Interesting to have another perspective. I actually found this really interesting reading – I’ve been suffering from depression for about 9 months now, but only sought help in around September. I found that being in control of my spending was in fact a symptom of my depression – telling myself I was being thrifty and smart with money was a really good way to avoid going out, doing the things I enjoy with friends, or eating three meals a day. I think I got a real feeling of control from the self-restraint of ‘subsistence living.’ It’s only now I can see that I wasn’t buying anything because attaching myself to more material goods anchored my existence in a way, which was something I wanted to avoid. Interesting to have another perspective.

]]> By: smartastic http://thebillfold.com/2013/01/depression-and-money-some-real-talk/#comment-31428 smartastic Sun, 20 Jan 2013 14:40:04 +0000 http://thebillfold.com/?p=21829#comment-31428 This all rang true for me ... But another side of this is how depression effects my working life; I know I am an ambitious person, but I tend to sabotage myself, or just miss out on things because I'm having trouble getting out of bed etc ... which obviously has a negative effect on my finances. Sigh. I'm taking Wellbutrin at the moment, and it's been great. I stopped therapy about 6 months ago because it felt like time to do that, but recently I've been thinking it might be time to go back to it. Sigh, never-ending battles. This all rang true for me … But another side of this is how depression effects my working life; I know I am an ambitious person, but I tend to sabotage myself, or just miss out on things because I’m having trouble getting out of bed etc … which obviously has a negative effect on my finances. Sigh. I’m taking Wellbutrin at the moment, and it’s been great. I stopped therapy about 6 months ago because it felt like time to do that, but recently I’ve been thinking it might be time to go back to it. Sigh, never-ending battles.

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