1. 2000. George W. Bush “wins.” I was in high school, too young to vote. My brain tends to erase stressful events and happenings, so I don’t remember much except being upset about THE THEFT OF THE AMERICAN PRESIDENCY. I had zero dollars at the time, so this election cost me $0.
2. 2004. George W. Bush wins. I voted for the first time, for Kerry (duh). After the results came in, I wore black and walked around campus in mourning, stopping for a $5 peppermint mocha and a $10 sandwich (duh).
3. 2008. Obama wins. My brother and I are at a packed bar in Portland, standing on a bench. We call our parents. Can they believe it? They can’t. Can we believe it? We can’t. We meet up with friends and get Mexican from the 24-hour-Mexican place by the house (MY TREAT, surely), sharing smiles and cheers with the workers. We bring the food home and eat burritos filled with unmelted shredded cheese and drink whiskey and play records and laugh and smile at our exciting futures.
4. 2012. ????? wins. I thought I was registered but it turned out it wasn’t registered and by the time I figured out I wasn’t registered it was too late to register. When I found out, I just thought, okay, I’ll just donate some money to Obama and that’ll be worth a vote, or whatever. Except then I forgot and didn’t do that, so basically if Romney wins it’s my fault. I’m at my cousin’s house in Minneapolis so any celebrating/commiserating will be courtesy of their liquor cabinet and snack closet (freeeeee).