Comments on: Bitterly Disappointed Dad, Super Bitter

By: WaityKatie

WaityKatie — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 00:03:29 +0000

@hopelessshade I would say, if the parents are still supporting them, he has a right to tell them how much they suck. But if they’re not…it’s a “mind your own damn business, Dad” situation. Not clear from the email. I mean, if these people are married with kids and still getting money from their parents, I just have no sympathy for the freeloaders. But also, why don’t the parents just stop giving them money?

By: Markham

Markham — Mon, 26 Nov 2012 22:16:06 +0000

@hopelessshade

I think the point here is that the three kids aren’t self-sufficient AND they have children:

This quote from the e-mail: “Which of you, with or without a spouse, can support your families, finance your home and provide a pension for your old age? Each of you is well able to earn a comfortable living and provide for your children, yet each of you has contrived to avoid even moderate achievement. Far from your children being able to rely on your provision, they are faced with needing to survive their introduction to life with you as parents.”

There is a pretty clear implication here that none of the three children are capable of supporting themselves, even with the help of a spouse. The obvious implication here is that he’s not only supporting adult children who can’t support themselves, but he has to support Grandchildren too.

I would think that if you’re supporting adult children, you would feel a touch miffed if your kids had children they couldn’t afford to raise that you now have to support as well.

I’m not a father but I’ve been in the situation of family taking advantage, it’s not a good feeling.

-M

By: hopelessshade

hopelessshade — Mon, 26 Nov 2012 20:36:36 +0000

Wait, people SIDED with this asshole?? Augh. “yet each of you has contrived to avoid even moderate achievement.”?? I hope all three kids have the best therapists they can find, because surely they need it.

By: CubeRootOfPi

CubeRootOfPi — Mon, 26 Nov 2012 20:35:46 +0000

Not sure what the situation is with this family. It’s one thing where the parents are disappointed because they had a certain vision of what the kids should be like but the kids live a life that makes them (the kids) happy. In that case, the parents need to get over themselves.

On the other hand, some adult children do need a kick in the arse. I know far too many people who don’t work or have not stopped relying on their parents for financial support, even though they’re in their 30s. For whatever reason, they don’t want to make a plan to become financially independent. If you ask them why, it’s always some variation of either “I had a bad childhood and I just don’t KNOW and it’s so unfair that my parents never supported me!” (Though in those cases I think that the parents should start cutting them off.)