Comments on: Betting on Love, Leveling Up and Leaving Atlanta (Part III)

By: Pawan Mittal@facebook

Pawan Mittal@facebook — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 18:06:50 +0000

Hi Amanda, I just really enjoyed reading your 3 posts and could totally relate to your life circumstances. Not too long back me and my wife were in same boat as you and Adam. I was making close to six figure but we had no idea where our money was going. Unlike you guys, we were too lazy to keep an account of our expenses and do any type of budgeting least we find out that we are spending 800 dollars eating out!

We have always wanted to buy a house but we had no idea how in the world we will save 100K as downpayment needed to buy a 500K house. So we never really tried towards saving for it (A goal too far our to achieve). All that changed when we found out about loans programs that would allow us to put only 15 grand down. We got our spirits back and with motivation and energy started budgeting and cutting down our expenses. In three months we were proud home owners.

The point I am trying to make is not that you guys also decide to buy a house, but work on a goal which is practicle (can be achieve with your current income without stressing you too much), can be achieved in foreseeable future (what you want today may not want 5 years down the line so why to spend energy towards it), adds value to your life (a vacation in Europe sure sounds fun but spending all your saving on it won’t leave you in any better condition then you are right now) and most importantly is based on mutual consent (what good is a goal if it creates problems in your relationship.)

I wish you all the best in your mission to make positive changes to you life.

By: themegnapkin

themegnapkin — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 21:30:01 +0000

@Amanda T “that early-20s ‘figuring it all out’ stage” is not something I ever grew out of, and I’m in my early 30s now. You don’t need to figure it all out (I hear tell that nobody does, ever?), you just need to figure one or two things out at a time, and work towards them. Like, don’t look for the perfect job (too much pressure), look for a job that’s a little better than your last job.

By: Kagan Bec@facebook

Kagan Bec@facebook — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 20:31:38 +0000

I don’t think your grocery bill is too outrageous. As long as you’re not spending it on twinkies, I think it’s totally worth the money to purchase quality food. I’ve never been able to compromise when it comes to what I eat, but I don’t feel guilty about my expensive, free-range farmer’s market vegetables because they are good for so many reasons.

By: Lauren

Lauren — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 19:11:10 +0000

@grog I have to throw my voice in, agreeing with this! I, too, am affected by these bouts of “depression,” so I know how it can be. Five very large, difficult, unmeasurable goals would send me right back into despair that I can never accomplish any of it. One or two small and specific goals would be much more helpful. I would say, “spend $800 on groceries this month” and “exercise twice a week” would be enough that I would feel motivated without too much pressure. Take care of yourself, Amanda, it is so so easy to get dragged back down.

By: runningpig

runningpig — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 19:11:05 +0000

@Trilby How patronizing. Because someone is 20-30 years younger than you they must not be as good at budgeting? Do you read some of the stories of how people have put themselves through college? She could choose beans over steak, and maybe she will next month (I too am looking forward to reading about menu planning, I love it), but there is nothing wrong with choosing to spend money you have on food because its something enjoyable. I personally chose to get a part time job for “steak money” so that I don’t have to eat beans.

By: Emma Peel

Emma Peel — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 18:34:27 +0000

@Amanda T Thanks for your very polite reply to random advice from a stranger! And yes, looking in cities you actually want to live could be a smart move — even if you don’t apply, you’ll have a better idea of what the job markets look like there, where the openings are, what the salaries are, etc.

Best of luck to you, and sorry about all the people shaming you again for your grocery bills. :-/

By: Amanda T

Amanda T — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 18:21:19 +0000

@Amanda T (oh my god sorry for all the grammatical errors)

By: Amanda T

Amanda T — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 18:20:16 +0000

@grog Solid advice. I feel like every time I make a quantifiable goal I always screw it up (I do this frequently) (see: $600 inital grocery budget, largely ignored) but I need to pull myself together and follow through.

By: Amanda T

Amanda T — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 18:16:50 +0000

@Emma Peel Hi Emma, thanks for you advice! I guess I should have clarified, I route a lot of charges through AMEX instead of using my debit card, then pay it all of in a lump sum at the end of every month. I do not carry a balance. I’m doing it to build credit/get loyalty points. Now that I read back what I wrote, it does sound like I’m ringing up hundreds of dollars of debt every month! Not so – sorry for the confusion!

You’re right about the job thing. I was thinking of applying to jobs in the cities where I want to move, but am thinking that’s a bad idea because I will waste a lot of money on travel costs for interviews (assuming I even get any). If I *did* line up a job ahead of time, I could probably just break my lease and move ahead of time as well, but that is a very iffy thing to consider.
Thanks for your unsolicited (but good!) advice – I appreciate it.

By: Emma Peel

Emma Peel — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 18:04:51 +0000

Two pieces of unsolicited advice (which, sorry, but hey):
–Charging stuff on your credit card while saving doesn’t make financial sense. You’re going to be paying much more in interest on that than you will be earning on your savings. I know it sucks psychologically to miss a goal, but I think it’s better to save $1,500 vs saving $2,000 and charging $500. (I feel the opposite about saving vs. paying off debt, as long as the debt maintenance is manageable, but I don’t think you should be adding to your debt while saving — it’s counterproductive.)

–Unless you’re looking for a new job in a field where being transitory is normal, looking when you want to leave in less than a year is maybe not the best idea? You could run into issues with continuity of insurance, etc., and it’s a little crappy to your future employers to accept long-term employment when you know it will probably be short-term. I don’t know your job or your employer (though I guess they do now, if you’re writing under your own name), nor do I know how miserable you are; but I, personally, would stay put if I wanted to move less than a year later.
That said, congratulations on your progress, and I love that you’re willing to share this journey with us.