Better Lives for Me and for You

Let’s open an artisanal gumdrop shop in Asheville. I’ll make the gumdrops. You mind the store. 

Let’s exhume and incinerate the corpse of Secretariat and sell his ashes for big $$$. I’ll dig. You keep lookout.

Let’s start a blog. I’ll build a WordPress site. You come up with funny ideas.

Let’s breed cats in my sunroom. I’ll cross Korats with Maine Coons and call them Silver Goliaths. You scoop the litterboxes. 

Let’s make cute little spoons out of wood. I’ll carve. You buy out ad space in Kinfolk.

Let’s join a commune in Humboldt and live off the land. We’ll help each other ward off unwanted sexual advances.

Let’s sell liquor to high school kids. I’ll put up the money. You push bottles outside the bowling alley.

Let’s perform “The Return of Bruno” a cappella. I’m Bruce Willis. You do lights.

Let’s move to New York. I have ambition. You’ll never amount to anything if you stay in this town.

 

William Foster lives in Portland, Ore. 

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13 Comments / Post A Comment

aeroaeroaero (#1,422)

Um, omg who writes these tags? They are perfect.

Bill Fostex (#573)

@aeroaeroaero Logan is an ordained tagmaster.

aeroaeroaero (#1,422)

@Bill Fostex Let’s start a blog about money with Log-, oh.

wearitcounts (#772)

William Foster, if you can build the wordpress site,

I HAVE ALL THE IDEAS.

Bill Fostex (#573)

@wearitcounts It appears that you have the caps, too. We’ll need lots of those.

wearitcounts (#772)

@Bill Fostex ALL THE CAPS

oiseau (#1,830)

William Foster, you get it!

ThatJenn (#916)

This sounds like every conversation I have with my best friend and business partner.

faustbanana (#2,376)

Let’s cross Korats with Bruce Willis!

Bill Fostex (#573)

@faustbanana pretty sure that’s what Lenny Kravitz was thinking about when he sang “Fly Away.”

faustbanana (#2,376)

@Bill Fostex I did get the impression that this article was inspired by Leonard’s seminal album “5.” But, if we go ahead with this, Foster, you’re on litter box detail. I’ll handle hiding the experiment from the government and our families. Both jobs might require a shovel.

William Foster, how can I subscribe to your newsletter?

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