The Apple of My Eye Is an Actual Apple

Logan: I just had the best apple of my life.

Logan: Such a great apple.

Mike: HONEYCRISP?

Logan: YES

Logan: HOW DID YOU KNOW

Logan: THAT WAS THE EXACT KIND

Mike: I bought a bag this weekend for $9.

Logan: I don’t know how much I paid for mine. They were part of a $57 grocery bill that included these 4 apples, then a bunch of produce that was too pretty not to buy. Cauliflower. Brussel sprouts. Spaghetti squash. Fingerling potatoes.

Mike: I also bought $5 worth of Cortlands. Cortlands are not good.

Logan: Oh such a pretty name though.

Mike: The way I fix bad apples are by simmering them in butter, brown sugar and cinnamon.

Logan: Oh that’s smart.

Logan: You prob know how I do.

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26 Comments / Post A Comment

pizza (#599)

Honeycrisp is definitely the best variety of apple.

sintaxis (#2,363)

@pizza Honeycrisp is good… but only if there’re no Pink Ladies or Baby Jazzes around. Let’s be real.

eraserface (#1,628)

@pizza WHAT are Baby Jazzes?? Also, Pink Ladies are the best.

sintaxis (#2,363)

@eraserface Pink Ladies ARE the best! A Jazz apple (upon googling, the name “baby jazz” is not official, it’s just that they are so small and cute like baby apples, I guess) is a cross between Royal Gala and Braeburn.

hellonheels (#1,407)

I recently had a delicious apple that was yellow on the outside and pinkish red on the inside – I can’t recall the name but it was definitely some horrifyingly expensive heritage variety.

I do like Honeycrisps but as a native New Englander I am partial to Macintoshes. Unfortunately the ones we get on the West Coast are subpar.

@hellonheels Macintoshes! Seconded.

t-square (#1,401)

@Anna Jayne@twitter Yes! Also a native New Englander, also love Macintoshes. We only get good ones in the south for about two weeks, so for those two weeks I try to eat them all.

Renleigh (#2,110)

@hellonheels Macintoshes forever! Honeycrisp are too sweet. Macintoshes have that nice tart/sweet thing going on. Cortlands do suck, I’ll give them that.

glow bug (#1,606)

@hellonheels Macintoshes forever!

highjump (#39)

As a native Minnesotan, you are all welcome for the honeycrisp apples. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honeycrisp

iffie (#1,911)

@highjump We are forever in your debt! So good! So expensive.

sventurata (#27)

You take that back, Mike Dang! Apples aren’t meant to take like blandly sweet popsicles. Locally-grown Cortlands are crisp, tangy, and satisfying.

FYI: apples in bags tend to be a grade or two below loose apples.

blair (#1,962)

@sventurata YES. I buy a basket (bushel? maybe?) of Cortlands every time I’m at the farmers’ market and it’s always worth lugging them the 1.1 miles (uphill, natch) to my apartment. Delicious.

wearitcounts (#772)

@sventurata @blair AGREED. cortlands are awesome.

EvanDeSimone (#2,101)

I LOVE Honeycrisps. I can’t find any locally this year, it was a crappy year for apple crops in northern New Jersey because of…weather…and/or…science…things. Whatever. Also Mike Dang what food in this world is not fixed by simmering in butter, brown sugar, and cinnamon?

shannowhamo (#845)

TRASH IS HOW I DO is the first tag to make me laugh out loud.

I think I hate apples but this is not the first site I’ve read today that has gone on about honeycrips apples and it’s making me want to give apples another try.

sockhop (#546)

winesap!!! I just discovered them this past weekend at my state’s apple festival. I did read that they’re hard to find out of season, which seems reasonable as to why I’ve never seen them before now. :/

ETA: this past weekend, I also found out that apples are measured in “pecks.” it makes “a bushel and a peck” make a lot more sense.

Megano! (#124)

Better than Macintoshes though? I haven’t found a variety of apple I’ve liked more.

bgprincipessa (#699)

Honeycrisps were on sale at the grocery store last night and I had a FIELD DAY. That shit’s expensive.

Jellybish (#560)

The Honeycrisp apple! One of the greatest contributions of the University of Minnesota (along with pace makers and seat belts). Another great argument for public investment in research universities.

But did you know that the Honeycrisp is meant to be grown in the Upper Midwest? So if your apples were grown somewhere else, you aren’t having the most perfect Honeycrisp experience possible.

noralo (#581)

Somebody tell me how to choose only crunchy apples PLEASE!
Normally Honeycrisps are reliable, but as they go up in popularity and get grown on more orchards I believe the crunchiness becomes less reliable (not based on actual knowledge, just speculation after first pink ladies stopped being reliably crunchy and now honeycrisps). I bought Red Romes at a farmers market recently and thought they were super crunchy; the next week I bought more and they were smush-o-rama. I need a reliable crunch check!

sintaxis (#2,363)

@noralo make sure you are getting apples that aren’t too old and I find that if they are well chilled that helps. Ask the grocer what she recommends or if any of the new apples they have look extra good. They are always nice and will tell you if something got frozen or is too old or whatever. Also, they will make sure you get the best deals. One time I got Fuji apples for 1.50 bucks less a pound because they were trying to get rid of some local apples to make room for Chile apples. Asking grocers about stuff has been the best thing I ever learned how to do!

readyornot (#816)

@noralo I think the best reliable crunch check is to eat the samples they give, and you’re already most of the way there shopping at a farmer’s market. Or ask the seller, they usually know where each tree is in its fruit-bearing cycle.

And you raise a point that the whole thread points to: it’s not just the variety of apple, it’s the growing conditions and seasonality. I’ve had some fantastic Pink Ladies and really good Honeycrisps, but week to week the BEST one may vary.

Worker Parasite (#2,292)

Sweet sweet Envy apples, how all other apples envy your deliciousness.

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