Mike Trapp’s “If Pizza Places Worked Like Wedding Caterers” is PRETTY FANTASTIC. IT STARTS:
“Me: Hey, I’d like to order a pizza.Pizza Place: Great! What would you like on it?
Me: Well, what sort of toppings do you have?
Pizza Place: We have all the toppings. We want this to be your dream pizza!
Me: Okay, how about mushrooms.
Pizza Place: We don’t have mushrooms.
Pizza Place: Maybe!”