Reverse the Sexes in Your Head And It’s Pretty Wack

Three-fourths of household budgets in Japan are controlled by women, the BBC reports, and in many cases, that means the women dispense “pocketmoney” to their husbands. “We’ve decided it’s easier for him to be on a fixed allowance. I try to ease his burden by making him a lunchbox.” That’s a Japanese woman describing why she gives her husband an allowance each week (the clip opens with footage of her giving her husband his allowance). It’s followed by footage of him eating his sandwich alone, and smoking a cigarette, “his only luxury.”

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15 Comments / Post A Comment

deepomega (#22)

Yo, Is This Sexist Dot Tumblr Dot Com

Megano! (#124)

Historically, women have always been in charge of the household money. Well, those who were samurai class, anyway.

Megano! (#124)

@Megano! although it was too the point where they had to pay for his whores!

hellohello123 (#2,327)

Actually it always sounds sexist to me!

KatNotCat (#766)

Gender relations and roles in Japan are so different from the West that I will hesitate to say which version of this scenario is more messed up or sexist. However, in situations where one spouse earns all the money and the other stays at home, it actually always made sense to me for the one staying at home to “run the house,” including all aspects of the budget. Someone both bringing in *and* being in charge of all the money seems like a huge imbalance of power to me.

Is that not the norm in most of the US?
My mother was a SAHM, and she has always been in charge of the budget, up to the point of my Dad requesting money from her when he needs it.

@KatNotCat I feel like there’s a way to be “in charge” of the money that’s like, here is what we need for bills, here’s what we need to save, here’s what we (both and separately) get to have fun with, and a way of being in charge that’s like, buying lunch is a waste and I won’t “let” you do it regardless of how much money we actually have. The first I am fine with; the second squicks me out regardless of gender.

KatNotCat (#766)

Additional note: things like this should really, once and for all, indicate to certain men that their quests for a “nice submissive” Asian wife are ridiculous.

This is another “Haha isn’t Japan so weird, Japanese people are all exactly the same” lazy news story. Come on BBC, I expect much better.

josefinastrummer (#1,850)

My stay at home mom controlled our family budget for years and we did really well. Then my dad put everything on the computer, password protected it, and now they are bankrupt. This is just my parents but now I have a major goal in life to never let this happen.

WaityKatie (#1,696)

@josefinastrummer This happened with my parents too, except they have had to declare bankruptcy TWICE due to my dad’s secret spendthriftiness. Also my mom’s a control freak who tries to dominate every aspect of their lives. And of course I got to pay for my own education because they never saved anything, ever. And…this is why I’m never getting married…

josefinastrummer (#1,850)

@WaityKatie Uhhh are we secretly sisters? What is it with dads secretly spending money they don’t have? My dad had a really good job and we were so “normal”. Now he is retired and works at a grocery store and my mom has bad knees and no health insurance. It’s really hard to wrap my head around all of this. It’s nice knowing other people are going through it too, even though it sucks. If I ever get married, we are having separate checking accounts and never owning anything ever!

WaityKatie (#1,696)

@josefinastrummer Ha, my law school debt already ensures that I will never own anything ever! Win/win? Yeah, my parents declared bankruptcy the first time when I was 8, and I always thought it was because my dad had been unemployed for two years and they had billz, but then they had to declare it again just recently (at ages 70 and 74) because my dad secretly racked up tons of credit card debt buying stuff. Turns out that’s kind of what happened the first time too! Awesome. I reallly want to be different from both of them but sadly in truth I think I inherited a lot of money cluelessness and denial that I’m still trying to work out. Hence my obsessive Billfold reading.

I’ve been trying to get my girlfriend to do this for months! Because I spend all my money on drinking. Because I’m a man.

I want a lunchbox.

oiseau (#1,830)

@stuffisthings I don’t give my boyfriend an allowance, but I am in charge of keeping track of our finances. He is a lot, lot less responsible with money than I am, as in will blow his entire paycheck on eating out, a spontaneous big purchase (new camera, netbook, etc.), books and magazines, craft beer, and “medicinals”. All of those things are nice but he way overdoes it. Happily he is ok with me imposing my will on his budget and it is helping us save some $$$ for the future.

DickensianCat (#971)

@stuffisthings I want a packed lunch with one single cigarette lovingly taped to a note that says “Go get em’, Tiger!” I found that part kind of touching.

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