My Last Hundred Bucks: The Swifts Were Great Though, Top Notch Swift Performance

Where’d your last hundred bucks go, William Foster?

$80, City of Portland (Parking Ticket). I was going to watch the swifts at the Chapman School, and it was busy and crowded and I parked in a no-parking spot … and I got a ticket. It’s like the ’90s dot-com boom in San Francisco when IPO-rich assholes would just park their 911s on the sidewalk directly in front of wherever they were going. I’m that way now. I am above the law, no question, and I have cash billowing out of my pockets. (That is not true; I thought I was risking maybe $25, $40 at most.)

$20 (approx.), Beaverton New Seasons Market. Ingredients for a curried peanut soup and the sweetest, bluest Frostie on the shelf.

 

William Foster lives in Portland, Ore. The swifts haved moved on. 

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7 Comments / Post A Comment

iffie (#1,911)

Feel like you might be my soulmate!

Bill Fostex (#573)

@iffie I FEEL IT TOO, IFFIE! I FEEL IT!

iffie (#1,911)

@Bill Fostex I’m so glad!

ThatJenn (#916)

Yesssss swifts. Totally worth $80. Well, as long as they’re your eighty bucks and not mine.

dinoterror (#1,136)

The photo illustrates exactly how I feel whenever I go watch the swifts. Still though, totally worth 80 bucks, especially if it was your friends who brought along the snacks.

Bill Fostex (#573)

@dinoterror They did! I ate their snacks!

elizabeast (#629)

And this whole time I was thinking parking tickets in Portland are a myth because my friends are always letting their paid parking expire and never, ever get tickets for it.

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