How to Pay for a Bottle of Wine

Yesterday at the wine store Miranda and I were in line together. When it was our turn, I pulled out my wallet. She pulled out her wallet.

“I’ve got this,” she said.

“No. I’m paying,” I replied.

“No, you paid last time.”

“Let me pay.”

The cashier interrupted us.

“You know who does that? Little old ladies. So keep doing that if you want to become little old ladies.”

So I said, “I’ll pay.” And Miranda said, “No, I’ll pay.” And I said, “No, I’ll pay.” And at that moment  we did, in fact, turn into little old ladies. The cashier stepped back in shock, Miranda laughed with glee, I took the opportunity to swipe my gift card and be done with it, and then we walked out of the store arm-in-arm, our newly white hair glowing in the moonlight.


12 Comments / Post A Comment

sockhopbop (#764)

I love this story. Hurray, old biddies!

Megano! (#124)

Nope, pretty sure chronically poor youngs do this all the time too. YOU’RE MAKING US OLD BEFORE OUR TIME ECONOMIC SYSTEM!!

Brunhilde (#78)

If there were two of you, why were you only buying one bottle of wine?

wearitcounts (#772)

@Brunhilde hello, are you me?

wearitcounts (#772)

also. hm. that would have rubbed me the wrong way, possibly enough to walk out of the store and go buy wine someplace else. once on a sunday i walked into a store at 11:55 to buy a six pack for a beach/boat trip. in massachusetts, you can’t sell liquor before noon on sundays. anyway, the guy was like “can i help you?” and i was like, “i’m just waiting,” and he was all “well you’re gonna have to wait six more minutes!” in this really rude and impatient way so i just turned around and walked out and used my six minutes to drive to another store. and never bought beer at the first store again.

darklingplain (#938)

Yeah, but the two situations aren’t really comparable. You were just waiting quietly, while presumably they were wasting the cashier’s time and possibly holding up people in line behind them. It’s true that it wasn’t a very polite thing to say, but it’s better than snarling “Hurry up, jackass” at them, which is probably what I would have said <– (reason I am not a cashier).

wearitcounts (#772)

@darklingplain a fair point.

DON (#706)

I’d like to give a hug to whoever gave you a gift certificate to a liquor store. So thoughtful!

pissy elliott (#844)

If you had just bought a bottle of rubbing alcohol, you could’ve saved 50 cents and gone a little bit blind. And if you did it 24 more times, that would be a whole bottle of wine you saved!

AlliNYC (#1,725)

@pissy elliott It can be Your Little Secret between you and the wine-store clerk!!!


Genghis Khat (#584)

At least you didn’t try to rope her into your dispute like some people who come through my line. I don’t give a fuck who pays. One of you do it and sort it out between yourselves later.

katiekate (#1,051)

A friend and I bought two airplane bottles of Fireball to spike our apple cider while we walked around the neighborhood recently. We made a a lot of honest giggling and feeling like bad girls at the grocery store and the young girl checking us out was so embarrassed for us. IT WAS AWESOME AND WE FELT SO OLD. I love my thirties.

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