Things I Did And Did Not Do In Sephora Yesterday
Things I Did In Sephora Yesterday
1. Sprayed $28 “beachy spray” into my hair to make it look “beachy,” then scrunched it in the mirror to mixed results.
2. Salivated all over everything.
3. Spent ten minutes staring at the wall of face potions waiting for the right product for my face to jump out at me, maybe a sign (like: a spotlight, an earthquake where one thing fell off the shelf, an earthquake where all things fell off the shelf but one thing, a fairy godmother to say, “BUY THIS THING”).
4. Found a concealer in a pretty tube made out of UMBRIAN CLAY (god doesn’t that sound amazing), and put some on my hand to test and then wandered around whole store looking for a tissue to wipe it off with. It took a long time. (Dear Sephora, get sinks. Bath and Body Works has them. BATH AND BODY WORKS.)
5. Looked at lipsticks for awhile and really wanted to put one of them on my face FOR A FALL LOOK, but then I thought about FALL GERMS, so I didn’t do it.
6. Instead went over to mirror and took my own lipstick out of my bag and put it on, then spent the rest of the time wondering how I was going to prove that the lipstick in my purse was my lipstick and not their lipstick with someone eventually came up to me and said, “Come with me.”
7. Held up various false eyelash testers up to my face, close enough to see what I might look like with feathery blue lashes, but not close enough to get any mites or diseases (I HOPE).
Things I Did Not Do In Sephora Yesterday
1. Buy anything.
This post is a glorious thing.
Nice! Every day I almost buy dinner. I pass by restaurants and think, I’ve been so good! I can buy dinner this one time. And each time I ride by and eat dinner at home. It allows me to feel virtuous the whole rest of the evening and the next day. Nothing tastes as good as smug feels…
@ennaenirehtac your self control is astounding. i salute you!
@ennaenirehtac “Nothing tastes as good as smug feels” is my new mantra.
Sephora, to me, is the “paradox of choice” come to life. Unless I am looking for one specific thing I have in mind beforehand, I only ever end up getting a nail polish, if anything at all. And if I am looking for a specific product, it takes forever to find because you have to look at both sides of all those displays! They should have a map in the front of the store. I’m much more comfortable just going to the Bare Minerals store.
hahaha logan i went into sephora once and, intimidated by the glamazons working there v. the fact i had no makeup on my face, took out my own eyeliner and started applying it in the mirror. then i spent a good ten minutes trying to figure out the best way to put it back in my purse without looking like i was totally stealing eyeliner.
@wearitcounts we are so good at shoplifting our own things
Love that Joker…
The siren song of Sephora is hard to resist! I managed to go in last weekend and not buy anything either, although I did seriously consider BeneFit High Beam (determined to be too sparkly) and a house-brand eyeshadow palette (determined to be too chalky). I also smelled the perfumes because sometimes I think I want a signature scent, and then I remember that all perfume smells like a chemical prostitute.
@MuffyStJohn Not all perfumes! I am also fairly strong hater of mass-market perfumey stuff, it all just smells like PERFUME to me, but I am utterly obsessed with indie perfumes. They smell awesome instead of like chemical prostitute. Highly recommend.
@moreteawesley what are….indie perfumes? any good brands? #something i didn’t know i needed but now i waaaant
Triumph! It really is impossible not to buy something at Sephora. Every time I go in I at least end up getting something from those evil little impulse buy bins next to the register.
@moreteawesley Yes! The tiny rollerball tubes of perfume are my downfall.
@moreteawesley omg terrible impulse bins. I KNOW IT’S A TRICK. but it’s a trick i cannot resist.
@Logan Sachon I obviously need this $10 mini Benefit mascara because it is $10 and Benefit and I don’t have 14 tubes of mascara at home on my dresser no of course not.
or like three crusting in the bottom of my purse
At the end of most of the aisles/displays there are stations with q-tips, cotton pads, tissues, mascara wands, lip wands, and containers of rubbing alcohol and makeup remover. You don’t need a sink.
I usually don’t buy stuff at Sephora unless there is something really specific I want, but even then I sometimes don’t get it cuz it’s so expensive.
No mean feat. I spent fifty-some bucks on toiletry-type things yesterday at Target. That’s not exactly a luxury environment designed to convince you that buying products will give you a glamorous life, and as a dude our society isn’t constantly screaming at me about pores and so forth on all channels. But time and time again I think some new shaving thing really will give a closer shave with less irritation…damn you, razor bumps!
@probs Tend Skin is the answer! (I am apparently the self-appointed Awl Media spokesperson for Tend Skin, but it is seriously brilliant.)
Man I love just going in a store like this and putting all of the different things on the back of my hand and sometimes my face. I’m into nail polish, and every time I go buy one I spend like 30 minutes just looking at everything and comparing bottles.
I am really good at going into Sephora and not buying anything, but I am also really really good at looking at the Sephora website and rationalizing that I “need” more things so I can get the free shipping or the free gift-with-purchase.
shopping online does nothing for me. my shoppers heart is cold and dead online, fee shipping or gift BE DAMNED.
@Logan Sachon THAT is impressive. If shopping online did nothing for me, I think I’d be a millionaire. Or at least a several-hundred-aire.
If Beachy Spray in question is B&b Surf Spray, then GOOD ON YOU for avoiding it because it’s so expensive ughhh/(whisper) maybe try to sneak into Sephora with wet hair next time and see if the results are magic (THEY MIGHT BE)/AGHHHH sorry shutting up
@j-i-a I say this as someone who just got her first check from grad school and it’s the first money I’ve ever had that is NOT hard-earned, and that reality is really unleashing a beast within me right now (beast of expensive face toner [which I have NEVER used before because what is toner], stupid phone case with neon pink Pantone on it, Michelle Obama GREIGE nail polish, can’t stop must stop)
@j-i-a which toner did you get tell me now
@j-i-a if you happen to be near a body of salt water, fill a big jug of it and use that to refill an empty spray bottle. DOES THE EXACT SAME THING.
@wearitcounts (mind you, i say this as a person who lives literally on a harbor. so maybe not useful for most.)
@wearitcounts ALSO there are various “recipes” online that involve like Epsom salts, cheap hair gel, and a lot of water that are supposed to be verry similar for those of us who live inland.
@Heckyes i’d bet those work just as well. i did this last year and had beach hair all the time. it was magical.
@wearitcounts Could you just mix salt and water? Or is it some other magical quality of sea water? Though I’m not quite sure if beach hair is something I want since my beach hair is usually super tangled, super sticky feeling, and absolutely full of seaweed that NEVER COMES OUT.
@darklingplain that is the exact right correct beach hair you are doing it perfectly
@darklingplain i’m not sure, but i’m betting if you google “salt water hair spray” or something, you will find RECIPES.
As a reformed teen goth, I’m loving all the Tim Burton photo choices today! Love that Joker!
my sephora secret! (not really, just a long winded story)
my usual makeup routine is eyeliner and mascara, and i don’t use skin stuff because i don’t usually like how it looks and i always forget to take it off at night which i know is the cardinal sin of makeup.
BUT ms. jane marie/everybody in the world kept raving about BB cream and I thought for this fancy event i would get some and I went to sephora to get assistance. and the girl was SO FUCKING NICE! She applied it for me, plus highlighter, and then she gave me a sample and put absolutely no pressure on me whatsoever to buy any AND the sample she gave me has not run out even though i spilled a bunch of it by accident cuz I’m so smooth. so that was awesome (saved me $42!)
the thing is … i don’t know if i will ever go back and actually buy the thing ($42!!! ugh!) which i guess makes me a terrible customer. but at the same time, the customer service made me more likely to go back there for other things.
My favorite thing to do in Sephora is to ask for samples of whatever it is that strikes my fancy. The salespeople will happily squeeze out a portion into a little pot for you and label it and then you get to take home something without having to buy anything. And you can ask many different salespeople and end up with a bunch of little pots of really expensive moisturizer or foundation or whatever. The best.
If you want to try on a lipstick, wipe it off with a tissue, spray it with the little bottle of alcohol they keep at the end of each aisle, then wipe it again with a different tissue. Voila: no germs.
You’re right about avoiding eyelash things, though. I find it seriously horrifying that they don’t break the brushes off the ends of the mascara wands before putting out the testers. People get conjunctivitis from that shit like all the time.
Signed,
A Former Benefit and Clinique Employee