My Psychic Bread Secret
It’s all about attitude. It’s all about the power of the mind. If you will free bread to come into your life, it will come into your life. I read a lot of bread secrets. I have bread secrets on the mind. I breathe in bread secrets, I breathe out bread secrets. I visualize bread secrets. I dream bread secrets. And then one night, finally: success.
It was 1:30 a.m. and I was sitting in a coffee shop/falafel place, sipping on a seltzer and working (reading Twitter). The falafeler/baristo with the nice smile started to clean up—put away the coffee pot, restock the soda fridge, wipe the tables. I get up to leave, smile in a way that I hope says, thanks for letting me hangout for awhile even though I only bought one (1) seltzer for one (1) dollar. He smiles back in a way that says, “You have avoided my disdain for being a freeloader in the way so many other haven’t,” and then he actually says: “Hey, do you want some of these pastries? Otherwise they’re going in the trash.” That smile. Great smile. I smile back. “I will take some pastries, yes.” He fills a paper bag with three scones and two croissants.
My mind is a powerful tool. I have manifested free bread. (He has manifested free bread.)
now we just need to figure out how to do this with dollars.
There’s a free bread free-for-all every night on the sidewalk outside Union Market in Park Slope after they close at 9. The staff helpfully puts all the unsold bread in a separate trash bag so that it doesn’t get tainted by messy, assorted refuse. I once carried the whole bag like a derelict Santa Claus back to my apartment in Prospect Heights, and even after giving away half the contents, had enough free bread to stay thoroughly constipated for a week!
And then you got married, right?
Um, coffee shop AND falafel? Sounds amazing!