My Cookie Scam Secret
I was fortunate enough to experience collegiate life, which means I have lived the seedy underground lifestyle in which Subway is an actual food group. Sandwiches day or night can be life sustaining, even critical in the more dire of hours. That said, no (wo)man can live on foot-longs alone; they require accoutrements like a medium soda, a bag of Fritos, or even two M&M cookies.
This is why the “Meal” was invented. But nay, I never ordered the meal because I got my cookies for FREE.
As a twenty-one year old sorority girl, what I lacked in finances, I made up for in bubbliness…and let’s face it, boobs. I used both of these things to my advantage at the local Subway to weasel my way into free dessert…all the time. My extreme critical eye for quality control can be attributed to the genesis of this sick little scam. On each visit to the Subway, as I made my way from the bread choice to the cashier, my eyes darted to the cookies sitting next to the register, waiting for me to make them part of my Meal. The first thing I noticed was that these cookies were always broken, like a toddler had thrown a tantrum on top of the cookie sheet.
After many food industry jobs, I knew that selling these cookies would be inappropriate, so I put on my best doe-eyed face and innocently asked, “What do you do with the broken cookies?” With no better answer besides, “Girl, we gobble up those broken bits in the back when we’re slow. Duh,” the nice young men would generously offer to just GIVE THEM TO ME. I was beyond. Scoring free warm cookies is still to this day one of the best highs I have ever experienced.
You’d think pulling this off multiple times would be impossible. I assumed they would eventually catch on or be completely immune to their daily barrage of sorority BS, which I can only assume meant a lot of no-carb nonsense. However, I made a real routine of out this cookie thievery for years. To this day, if I see the slightest crack in the doughy goodness, I turn on my greedy charm like a pro. It’s been about six years, but I still got it!
I’d just eat the chips in line when I was drunk and not pay for them. Then place the empty bag back on the shelf as if no one noticed the drunk girl eating those chips in line.
Stealing things isn’t exactly a “secret tip”
But the important question is…can a flat chested girl pull this off? experiment starts tomorrow
@oatmealshrapnel DUH! I am sure you possess some other sparkling..um.. assets.
I worked at Subway in high school. We weren’t supposed to sell the broken cookies to customers, and the broken pieces were left in a bag for whoever wanted to take them home. During slow times I would “accidentally” break the cookies with the tongs we used to take them out of the case if I needed a snack.
@Amanda@twitter YES. I used to do this with the scones and muffins at the bakery I worked at during college. I think it’s just expected.
@Amanda@twitter When I was 17, I got paid $7/hr to work at an overpriced food stall for tourists. Since I was too lowly to work the cash register, one of my duties was to restock the cookie shelves with wonderful cookies. I put most of them down more forcefully than necessary, which sometimes yielded paper cups’ worth of broken cookie pieces! This was the only good part of the job.