Previously on The Billfold
Or, how to stay sane looking for jobs when you never hear back ever ever ever.
1. Get paid to apply
When possible, apply for jobs while you are technically “on the clock.” Getting paid to apply to jobs feels great, and if you don’t hear back, it doesn’t feel like wasted time. Bonus: This lets you prove that you are ‘great at multitasking,’ as you wrote in your cover letter. (This tip works best if no one can see your computer screen, and if you already have a job.)
2. Never talk about it
Don’t ever tell anyone ever that you applied for anything. Unless they have connections. The worst part about the job search is having people say, “Have you heard back from that job you were so excited about????” NO I HAVE NOT AND I WILL TELL YOU IF I GET A NEW JOB.
3. Don’t try too hard
If you try super hard with your application and get rejected or never hear back, it will hurt a lot. It means that the company is rejecting your best work! Tragic! This is why you must not torture yourself over cover letters or CVs. That way, when they reject you, you might even agree with their decision a little bit. Also, clearly your shining personality will be apparent with just a glance at your cover letter, so why spend too much time?
4. Try not to care
Sometimes, applying for a new job feels like asking someone out on a date. But it’s so much easier! Usually they don’t even bother to reject you!
Tip five is don’t take any chances publishing cheeky lists about applying for jobs while you’re applying for jobs. (Sofia Smith is pen name.)