Financial Infidelity

Those excuses are buoyed by the fact that he has money. From where, I don’t know, because he won’t tell me (frustrating, huh?). He thinks I’ll disapprove … which I will, if he’s getting it from his indulgent, retired parents or through gambling with his friends, both of which are possibilities. His money goes toward groceries for the family, car maintenance, hanging out with friends and personal items, like clothes. He actually doesn’t hide his spending from me, but he never tells me exactly what things cost.

Our pals at LearnVest have a story about a couple where one partner (the wife) is the breadwinner, and the other (the husband) has been unemployed for four years, but is unmotivated to get a job and help pay the mortgage because he has secret money coming from somewhere. I don’t think you need me to tell you that a marriage where one partner is hiding the source of his/her money isn’t exactly the healthiest. I mean, Breaking Bad, anyone?

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8 Comments / Post A Comment

CubeRootOfPi (#1,098)

Oh man. He won’t tell her where “his” money is coming from and refuses to show her his paychecks? That marriage is NOT going to end well.

This is my worst nightmare. Well, one of them.

MuffyStJohn (#280)

And why is he not the ex-husband? He’s not only failing to be supportive financially (not in a “man as breadwinner” sense, but in a “capable adults contribute to their households” sense), but he appears to be in an emotional state of arrested development. This woman needs a divorce lawyer and she needs one pronto, and she needs to take him to court for child support – since he clearly has the capacity, somehow, to financially assist his children, he’s just refusing to do so.

Pumpkin (#2,153)

My first thought while reading that on xojane the other day was he has someone else on the side who is financing his lifestyle. Unless she actually sees a paycheck, I’d doubt he’s actually working at all.

KatNotCat (#766)

@Pumpkin The money could be coming from anywhere. It sounds like at least a few hundred to a few thousand a month. That would scare the shit out of me. I’d be constantly worried federal police were going to burst into the house at 2 a.m.
Yes, she said it’s “possibly” his family but has no idea.

Megano! (#124)

Yeah, this is either a Hung scenario or a Breaking Bad scenario, if TV has taught me anything.

I think financial infidelity (of this magnitude) would bother me more than regular infidelity.

punzy (#160)

Ugh, that sounds like a horrible situation. I was super nervous about combining finances with my husband when we got married, but it worked out to be the simplest and lowest stress option. It probably helps that he asks me permission to spend over $100, even though I don’t think he needs to. Being open about how much we are spending as well as where is important.

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