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Entitlement, Defined

A friend and I made a new friend at the bar last week. He was a loud, gregarious, narcississtic man who described himself as independently wealthy and told us tales of his juvenile delinquency—just the kind of person you want to meet at a bar if you are in the mood to meet a person at a bar.  He offered to drive us to a second location, but we demured (never go to a second location, and also, one of the great perks of living in New York City is never having to worry about the intersection of drinking and driving).

“No thanks,” we said.  “Oh you’re worried I’ll get pulled over!” (Which, no, we’re worried you’ll plow down a crosswalk of pedestrians.) Alas, he was ready to refute our doubts: “I can’t get in trouble. I have   … THIS.” He whipped out a card. 

“This” was a card from the Detective’s Endowment Association, with a homicide detective’s name and badge number written on the back (supposedly).  “Anyone who could ever pull me over, this guy”—pointing to the name scrawled on the back—”outranks him. They don’t want to call him up to bother him, so I get off.” It sounded sort of plausible. (I’ve watched TV.)

“Did you buy that?” I asked. “I don’t need to buy that,” he said. “This is how it works with you have money. Friends, family, and powerful people get these cards.” “Have you used it?” “Sure,” he said. “Lots of times.” Mostly traffic violations, he claimed, though he said that he could murder someone “in this bar right now,” stay at the scene, and that this card would get him off. I did not believe him. But he believed himself.

(The cards are a real thing, though their efficacy is dependent on the method of attainment, e.g. bought on ebay, not effective. The card, according to the NYT, “starts a conversation.”)


10 Comments / Post A Comment

OhMarie (#299)

This sounds fascinating but terrifying.

KatNotCat (#766)

“Alas, he was ready to refute our doubts: “I can’t get in trouble. I have … THIS.” He whipped out a…”

The ending of the sentence was different than I expected.

Those cards sound really odd and terrifying. “Deserving of a courtesy” from the police?

Are they orange because they are get-out-of-jail-free cards?

Wow, what…an evil douche…?

I really hope this guy gets arrested on some no-doubt douchey infraction one day and pulls out his card, only to get laughed at and read his Miranda rights.

theotherginger (#1,304)

@beatricks@twitter I hope those detectives are Stabler and Benson.

Lol I had one of these but from NJ State Police instead, potentially a better friends and family discount if your runins are more of the traffic violation type instead of homicide.

Anyway, said officer also offered the following. Tape a $100 bill to the back of your driver’s license and if you get pulled over, hand the paperwork to the officer. If he takes it, you’re off, if he confronts you, just say it’s your emergency fund and gave it by accident. Don’t have the balls to try that one though.

Megano! (#124)


wearitcounts (#772)

@Megano! touche, monopoly. TOUCHE.

Brunhilde (#78)

Oh jesus. A really close family friend of ours was a CHP growing up, and aside from the personal glee he got from pulling me over leaving high school to embarrass me and ask if Monday Night Football was at our house tonight, he always made it abundantly clear that dropping his name would result in an automatic ticket.

thatgirl (#1,965)

My father has been given a few of these sorts of cards in the past. He’s a plastic surgeon, and sometimes when he has a state trooper or their relative as a patient, they’ll give him one of these instead of a fruit basket. One guy even gave him a baseball cap with the instruction to put it in the back window, and no one would ever pull him over.

It’s pretty much just for speeding and minor traffic violations to my knowledge, but my father is also the most careful and law-abiding person I know, so it hasn’t been tested much.

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