Comments on: In Conversation With My Friend, a Prostitute

By: kenza22

kenza22 — Tue, 09 Oct 2012 07:28:13 +0000

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By: Nathy

Nathy — Sun, 19 Aug 2012 03:45:55 +0000

What a fascinating post. I’m really happy I came across this site; it has really unique perspectives on a variety of topics.

And if/when this girl starts publishing things, she has enough material to outdo this 50 Shades of Grey crap. Because it’s real material.

By: Never for Money

Never for Money — Sat, 18 Aug 2012 15:08:35 +0000

@Caroline @twitter so what exactly did you contribute with your third person account? Earnest question.

By: Kzinti

Kzinti — Sat, 18 Aug 2012 03:01:48 +0000

This is an interesting article, but I was surprised that a professional writer would write, “She’d offered to host one for her literature class, a course she still has to finish an essay for.”

The sentence seemed wrong to me, because it would be more grammatically correct as, “She’d offered to host one for her literature class, a course for which she still has to finish an essay.”

By: Caroline @twitter

Caroline @twitter — Sat, 18 Aug 2012 01:53:19 +0000

@Never for Money @ilovetobudget I asked those questions not because I was curious, because I thought others might be. And Mary does have her own blog; she does tell those stories her way. There are firsthand accounts out there if you want them. I’m not looking to please those who are looking for that.

By: Dexter Carter

Dexter Carter — Sat, 18 Aug 2012 01:18:29 +0000

I feel that certain elements of our society, namely, highly educated folks like to either glamorize sex-work, as way of making themselves seem more “edgy” or forward thinking.

After all the “I’m a highly educated woman who worked very briefly as a sex worker, and now I’m an academic in the field of sex and write essays, books, etc” is a well established cliche right now.

Thing is that’s not the reality for most sex workers. Very few are working as escorts while working on their creative writing degrees.

Very few are educated women who just “prefer” sex work.

Most are just poor women who have no other choice, and would undoubtedly rather not be sex workers.

After all don’t most of the voices in this field want to quit eventually, the woman in the article even disparages the “Career Hoes”.

So while this was a well written insight into one woman’s choices and rationalizations, let’s not pretend this is the norm.

Go to any minimum security prison and the cells are FULL of women who have turned to sex work at some point to pay the bills or buy drugs.

That’s probably more the norm than this article.

In fact one of the Ivy League “I experimented in sex work and now I write about sex” folks I mentioned earlier addressed some of these points rather nicely – basically calling herself out: http://blog.audaciaray.com/post/20228032642/why-the-sex-positive-movement-is-bad-for-sex-workers

By: ilovetobudget

ilovetobudget — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 23:44:16 +0000

@Never for Money I completely agree. This piece was fine but…I’d rather have had the friend write the story. I also found the “married men” thing weird–as if it’s at all remarkable that sex workers sleep with married men.

By: sweetpea

sweetpea — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 23:15:21 +0000

@WaityKatie It still doesn’t sound good to me, even given the enthusiasm of ‘Mary’ in this account. More like “hey, you get these weirdly intimate moments and MATERIAL FOR YOUR WRITING but you will encounter people’s worst instincts, too.”

By: Never for Money

Never for Money — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 19:37:39 +0000

So your sex worker writer friend couldn’t have told her own story? She needed you to ask only about her WORST client, and about married men (tons and tons of non-sex workers sleep with married people and never give a shit, why is it her moral responsibility)? Why is it “frightfully” easy to become a sex worker? What exactly is frightening about it?

I know you are trying to be sympathetic…but, really, sex workers are capable of telling their own stories. In the words of the aforementioned Charlotte Shane, sex worker writer extraordinaire:

“Sex workers don’t need crumbs anymore. Oh you’re going to deign to interview and “not demonize” us for your byline? We are not impressed.”

By: WaityKatie

WaityKatie — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 19:00:54 +0000

@sweetpea I completely agree that women who choose prostitution, be it voluntarily or involuntarily, should not be seen as “less” than anyone else. Of course they shouldn’t. And you’re right about the culture of deference. But I just get really uneasy with the glamorization of prostitution in pop culture, and in articles like this, because I don’t think saying “hey, everyone should just try being a prostitute! It’s a fine way to make money and has no unpleasant political or social ramifications!” is the way forward. I mean, “need money for college? Are you a woman? Ok, be a prostitute!” is not something I ever want to hear from anyone’s mouth, because, as others have pointed out, that is something that has never been said to straight men in our society. No one ever has or likely ever will go up to a laid off construction worker and say “Hey, have you ever considered stripping? Hooking? Light bondage?” (Notwithstanding that “Hung” show on HBO, which was actually sort of good.)