Uber Using Ice Cream as a Gateway Drug

People of large metropolitan areas in the U.S.: On Friday, if you download the Uber app, you can push a button on your phone and charge your bank account $12 and also alert a roving ice cream truck of your location. The ice cream truck will come and you will get five ice creams and it will basically be free because you will have already paid with your phone by pushing a button.

The real scheme here, however, is that you will now have an app on your phone that allows you to push a button anytime, but instead of ice cream, you’ll get a black town car, and instead of $12, you’ll be charged whatever it takes to get your drunk self from wherever you are to wherever you want to go. This app is the best and most dangerous invention of our times. I had an Uber binge in San Francisco and my bank account hasn’t been the same since. Even ice cream can’t get me to go near the stuff, that’s how serious this is. So what I’m asking, is: Do you trust yourself with this power? Do you?

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10 Comments / Post A Comment

I actually saw a link to a local news article about the one for my city and sent it to my coworkers. “Can we do this?”

Where am I that I can’t get 5 klondike bars for less than $12? Because I read the article, and that’s pretty much what they’re selling. I work in downtown Chicago, and right now I can walk for less than 5 minutes and have my choice of 5 places that will sell me klondike bars for less than $5. I could see this if you’re maybe at like, the beach? Which is deserted, and has no one selling ice cream. Which does not exist in any of the cities this place is serving.

ThatJenn (#916)

This website is dangerous for the lactose-intolerant today.

I like the idea of this! Mostly the car thing, not so much the ice cream thing. Ice cream from ice cream trucks is usually an overpriced disappointment, in my experience.

Ugh can we talk about how phoning for a taxi in DC is basically a joke? I’ve done this about five times (including once when I had a really bad knee injury and didn’t want to crutch three blocks over to a main road) and they NEVER come. EVER. In every other city I’ve lived in, phoning or texting is always the best way to get a ride.

Maryland taxis come when you call them. What is your problem, DC?

highjump (#39)

@stuffisthings DC has so many problems. This is a real one, but probably number 999 on the list.

semi-related: today i was kind of proud of myself that i’ve been bringing my breakfast to work instead of buying it there (which will save me $10 a week – $40 a month – $480 a YEEEEAR) and anyway it was hot out so I wanted icecream. Just a little ol snack sized mcflurry! But I felt bad about it because what’s the point of saving that money if I’m just going to spend it on other food, but then I thought, WWLD? And I bought it.

And I do not regret my decision at all. Ice cream is so great.

@redheaded&crazy
How do you know you wouldn’t have bought that ice cream anyway, though, even if you HAD been buying breakfast all week? /is the justification I use. “I’m still saving money I would’ve bought this either way OKAY wallet OKAY????!?”

@Holden Cauliflower It’s true, I probably would have! so … so … what you’re saying is, no matter what I’m still up $10 this week!

but it would be nice to be saving more than just $10 a week right, I’m trying to minimize my “food at work” output across all food genres … so in conclusion, it only cost me like $2.50 AND because mcd’s is doing $1 drink days, I’m also saving money on my daily caffeine intake! Right? RIGHT!

@ihatesomuch (#177)

I’m a big fan of uber, but mainly because I never have cash on me. I guess the smart thing to do would be to pay the the $2 ATM fee instead of paying double for the ride home, but getting a black fancy-looking towncar is just so much cooler.

also this: http://dccabssuck.com/

janestreet (#1,123)

I use it in dire circumstances. (Dire in the most first-wordly sense.) So, ‘it’s 11:30 and man friend has been waiting since 9 for me to get off work and I can’t find a cab to his place in Brooklyn,’ and ‘it’s late and it’s Brooklyn and I’m not taking the G tonight.’ Use in Manhattan is ridiculous. You need to involve two boroughs to justify the roughly extra seven dollars it basically charges on top of a roughly normal cab fee.

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