I don’t know my credit score off the top of my head, but I pay my credit card on time every month and in full. I have bills in my name. I haven’t defaulted on any loans. I figure my score is modest, nothing to get excited about. So I was quite surprised when I received a generous offer from American Express to apply for their Green Card.
With my current credit card, I was the one to solicit Chase, throwing the old double wink at a recalcitrant customer representative, who I assume begrudgingly gave me a line of credit just to leave the bank. But American Express was making a play for my wallet, and they were playing hard. I felt like the prettiest girl at the bar, with men scrambling to line up and offer me a fixed-rate APR. I carefully read the offer, I considered it. But I ultimately decided that annual fees were just not my thing. With great trepidation, I sent the offer spiraling toward the bin.
Well this must have really crushed someone over at American Express, because not two weeks later, I had another envelope in my mailbox, this time a select invitation to apply for the Gold Card. In all my years I’ve never been courted quite this hard for anything, never mind for something as high stakes as a pre-screened credit card offer. While I hate playing the siren, this Gold Card wasn’t quite my speed either. It carried a heftier annual fee than its predecessor, and my charging habits just don’t justify the extra cost. This one too was recycled with a tear shed, knowing that in a stuffy office in a business park somewhere in El Paso, Texas, the heart of an American Express Customer Outreach Representative was breaking.
Maybe in a couple of years, American Express Customer Service Representative, we would have worked out. We could have fallen into each other’s arms and spent out the sweet summers of our lives lazing in hammocks purchased from rewards points and attending exclusive-card-member-only jazz concerts on a private beach. But you had to play with fire. You got hurt, and you had to hurt back. You had to bring my credit score into this. Had it fallen so precipitously since the first time you offered the Green Card? My mind immediately raced there.
Matt Powers is a heartbreaker.