My Business Plan: Apples & Water

We all have business plans. What’s your business plan, William Foster?

I am opening a food cart in Portland, Ore. It’s called Apples & Water.

MENU
apple: $1
water: $1
apple+water combo: $1.50

FAQ
Will you offer compostable cups?
Water will be served from a hose. No cups. All you can drink.

Will there be a variety of apples or just one type?
There will be apples and water.

Can you get 2 apples for $1.50?
No.

Is there a special price for an apple apple water combo?
That would be equivalent to buying an apple+water combo plus one apple. That costs $2.50.

Can I hollow out my apple and use it as a cup?
I see no problems there. Yes.

When I was in Costa Rica I got coconuts from a guy on the beach who would chop a little hole in the top with a machete so you could sip the water out with a straw. After I drank that I filled it back up with beer so I could drink covertly on the bus. Can you hollow out the apples and fill them with beer?
Once I have your dollar, what you do with the apple is no matter to me.

I meant you as in YOU, not the proverbial you. How much to hollow out my apple and fill it with beer?
Do you see beer on the menu?

I don’t see a veggie burger on Burger King’s menu, but they have them if you ask for one.
At Apples & Water, all cards are on the table. And there are only two of them.

What is your aesthetic vision for the cart?
I’m shooting for something like this.

What kind of apples will you offer? Because if I give you a dollar and you hand me an inappropriately and deceptively named “Red Delicious,” I will be furious.
I already answered that question. And don’t you dare try to incite an apple riot.

Do you take returns? What if the apple has a worm in it?
If you turn in the bunk apple at the time of purchase, I could consider offering a voucher for your choice of one (1) free apple or one (1) free water, but it would be on a case-by-case basis.

What about discounts for the elderly?
No free rides. I don’t care how old you are.

William Foster is an entrepreneur. 

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4 Comments / Post A Comment

Anne (#33)

I’m going to open a stand right next door that sells apples and water. My stand will sell apples and water for $.75 each. My supplier will be the lame stand next door who is selling the apple/water combo pack for $1.50. No! I’ll buy one all-you-can-drink water and sell my refills for $.25. I’ll have cups for rent @ $.25/hour.

Bill Fostex (#573)

@Anne I trust in Portland food cart customers’ commitment to integrity and authenticity. Your shameless fraud-cart would be out of business and likely burned to the ground within a week. Why don’t you instead fill the need that was expressed in the sixth question: a young coconut cart with clandestine kegs in the back. Then we could happily co-exist.

Anne (#33)

@Bill Fostex Monopoly in not just a board game, you tyrant.

Nick (#1,548)

There’s always money in the banana stand apple cart.

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