How Brew Fest Works For And Against You

A brew fest is a spectacular event that perhaps doesn’t sound that fun but is actually very fun. Here is how it works: Tickets are $30, which seem like kind of a lot—why don’t we just spend that much on beer and hang out at home, one might say (I said this). Sun. People. Lines. Noooo. But I went along. Upon arrival at the brew fest, we each get a cup that will hold a 3 oz. of beer and 15 tasting tickets.

Some quick math reveals that fifteen 3 oz samples is 45 ounces total, which is barely three beers. That comes out to $10/pint. Insanity! What a rip! Dumb brew fest, dumb friends, we should be drinking pitchers right now in a bar. We should be at home with a case. This is crazy.

But: 45 oz is a lot. It’s so very much.

The beers are high-alcohol microbrews and somehow mixing them all up in your stomach and adding sunshine and crowds of people means you get drunk, quick. So quick. I can’t believe I have six more tickets to use, quick. I can’t even put another 3 ounces of cider into my body, quick. And when you’re drunk, lines and crowds and sun are kind of fun, actually. Isn’t that the most beautiful view you’ve ever seen? Isn’t humanity amazing? Look at us all, different backgrounds, different lives, coming together for fun together (actually everyone looked alike because it was Vermont, but you can imagine that in a more diverse city it would be a moving sight).

We each had between four and six tickets left as the sun started to set and we decided we were done. We tried to give them to each other, but no one could stomach another ounce. We stumbled to dinner, and seven people ate for $99 (dinner is so cheap when no one orders drinks). Brew fest. Genius. Will go again.


3 Comments / Post A Comment

thewurst (#435)

The local brew fest here in Birmingham doesn’t give you a drink limit. It’s wonderful/terrible.

Coffeejunkie (#1,650)

There are a number of brew fests that have no drink limit, and there is certainly a science to making the most out of the teeny glass you receive.

1. Go for the lighter beers first, and I when I mean lighter I don’t mean bud or miller light. If you’re at a brew fest you know what that beer and having sex in canoe, have in common.

2. Make sure to take a break now and then. Well taking a breather, my favorite past time is watching the number of people who drank way too high gravity beer from the get go.

3. If you’re with friends, share the high gravity samples. This is for all intents and purposes a beer tasting, and I for one want to try as many breweries as I can.

4. When you think, “maybe one more beer.” It’s time to pocket your teeny glass, say your goodbyes, and go home before the rest of the drunker people do the same.

5. When you get home, make sure to introduce your new glass to the rest of the clan; it may feel nervous at first, but it soon will learn the ropes.

wallrock (#1,003)

I’ve gone to the Great Taste of the Midwest for the past six years and I’ve gotten pretty good at managing the system. There’s no limit and the first couple years I was a mess. I had it down after than until two years ago when for some reason they increased the size of the tasting glass. I didn’t try more beers than usual but that extra ounce here and there coupled with the increasing trendiness of high ABV beers put me right on my ass.

Comments are closed!