Fancy (adj.) Elaborate In Structure Or Decoration

A friend called me up yesterday and said: “I’m hanging out in a fancy apartment. Do you want to come also hang out in this fancy apartment?” I said yes. Any apartment is preferable to hang out in over my apartment—a fancy one, even better.

I live a tiny room in a terrible apartment (well documented). “Fancy” doesn’t mean much when you live like I am currently living. It could mean a bathroom without a cloud of black mold on the ceiling. It could mean there’s room for a desk and a bed. It could mean there are not Dominican motorcycle gangs revving around at all hours, on all days. I didn’t know what fancy meant, is what I’m trying to say. I didn’t occur to me that it could actually mean fancy.

I went to the apartment. It was a fancy neighborhood, yes, but that didn’t really mean anything. There is crappy real estate everywhere. But this was not that. I walked in and started laughing. Cackling. Guffawing. I might have started hyperventilating. I had to breathe into a paper bag, but we had no paper bag, so I just sat down on down-stuffed wing chair and fanned myself with a letter pressed-party invitation that had been tossed on the table. There was central air. The room smelled like flowers. I started to calm down.

I had forgotten about rich people. I knew they existed of course, but I’d forgotten that sometimes our lives can intersect. I was sitting in one of their houses. And it was fancy. There was very large, very oversized furniture. There was a very large, very oversized art. There were multiple fireplaces, multiple bedrooms, multiple floors. There were huge windows with trees outside of them. I tried to picture the house in another city, thinking somehow it’d feel better to be able to say, “Well, it’s fancy for New York, but it’s not that fancy.” But no, the house would have been fancy anywhere. It was fancy, full stop. I’m not going to recount every detail for you; I mean, you’d love it, but it’d be torturous for me, like making a starving man recount the details of a feast he’d happened upon and watched for a minute, drooling from behind a bush.

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14 Comments / Post A Comment

I recently spent time in a close-to-$1 million apartment in D.C. with an acquaintance who was out of the Midwest for the first time in her life, and she was pretty shocked at how little almost a million dollars gets you here. (I thought it was pretty fancy though!)

Spinach Party (#253)

I looooooooove hanging out in other people’s fancy places. I’ve been able to do it a handful of times now. Little pockets of time where you get to enjoy all the things, but don’t have deal with any of the maintenance.

My aunt and uncle frequently ask me to house (and cat) sit their fancy apartment when they go on trips. I have taken to calling it “Swankytown.” It is so choice.

Also is the (n.) in the title supposed to mean “noun”? It’s confusing me.

readyornot (#816)

@Anna Jayne@twitter Yah, I think the whole title is a dictionary entry for fancy, but really it should be (adj.). I mean, shouldn’t it? Because there is a noun form of fancy, as in whimsy and “flights of…” but that’s not what we’ve got going on here. My favorite form of fancy is verb. I quite fancy Becks driving the Olympic torch in a speedboat.

@readyornot i make these kind of typos to keep everyone on their toes. adjective it is. ding ding ding ding

@readyornot right, yes. “when a young man’s fancy turns to etc.” But we are in agreement – this right here is some (adj.) fancy.

I quite fancy Louis Smith’s hair.

Megano! (#124)

Did you touch everything? I would totally have touched everything.

Harriet Welch (#127)

@Megano! ME TOO! That is how I do fancy things. I need to touch them. I risked getting kicked out of Versailles for touching EVERYTHING but I just had to. I couldn’t not do it.
I always wonder if fancy things just feel differently than my things.

@Megano! At the fanciest apartment I have ever been to, in San Francisco, I was shown an electric fireplace like Cher’s in Clueless but FREESTANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM LIKE A DAMN FISHTANK so obviously I touched it and in .03 seconds my (gifted to me that very evening, and had red sparklies on it which is why I was still wearing it indoors) glove melted on the glass.

A fancy apartment that destroys visitors’ wealth.

Now that’s fancy.

readyornot (#816)

Logan, we love you, and I don’t mean to grammar snark! I didn’t actually even notice until Anna Jayne pointed it out.

Louis Smith’s hair, it is pretty awesome.

NeenerNeener (#156)

I hung out in (took a tour of) The Breakers last weekend. Now I want a loggia.

Fig. 1 (#632)

Heh, in the city where I live, the expensive houses are the same as the cheaper ones…the rooms are just bigger. You get your 10,000 steps just putting breakfast together.

cc (#1,069)

part of my job includes client meetings, which i always try and do at their place. I WANT TO SEE EVERYONES CRAZY NYC APARTMENTS! @_@ so many gorgeous places i will never, ever be able to afford in neighborhoods i would never live in- but omg the molding! the deco details!

pearl (#153)

I visited someone’s 5th Ave. apartment last time I was in NYC and marveled at its space, decorative items, and beautiful Central Park view. To live in such grandeur would be so nice!

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