Logan: Mike! What is one thing that you are looking forward to this weekend?
Mike: The sun, the sky, the fact that life if full of choices, and one of those choices is which flavor of ice cream to get! How about you?
Logan: I’m visiting a friend who works on a farm, so I’m looking forward to going to the farm and picking a thing and eating that thing. Maybe a tomato.
Mike: Oh, that sounds so nice. And also very cost-effective.
Logan: Yeah! Tomatoes are expensive. Okay, so you’re going to eat some ice cream (who am I kidding, I’m going to eat some ice cream too), and I’m going to eat tomatoes. Do you have a guess for how much money you’re going to spend?
Mike: Well, I’m guessing it won’t be very much. My dad’s birthday was yesterday, and I sent him a check. That might be weird for some people (you gave your dad money for his birthday!?), but that’s just how it works in my family. Cash is king and always very much appreciated.
Logan: That was nice of you. Did you write something funny in the memo line?
Mike: Just, “Happy Birthday!” But we talked on the phone for a little bit, and he was really happy about it. I’m guessing it would be totally weird if you gave your parents money for their birthdays.
Logan: It would make absolutely no sense. My dad would laugh and be like, HILARIOUS JOKE, BROKE DAUGHTER OF MINE, and then tear up the check.
Mike: Well, I mean, it would probably be weird even if you had lots of money, right? I mean, for me, I think it’s a cultural thing—money in red envelopes for the New Year and such.
Logan: I’m trying to imagine it, and I can’t, really.
Mike: Haha. Okay, so what are you planning on spending this weekend? You’re mostly just paying for the transportation to get to your friend’s farm, I take it?
Logan: Yeah, I’m guessing like a hundo total. I kind of have a feeling that I can’t afford to spend any money this weekend but I’m just going to deal with that on Monday, I’ve decided.
Which I know seems ridiculous, but I’m trying not to think about it?
GOOD WEEKS AND BAD WEEKS MIKE DANG.
Mike: Oh, you gotta save some money to spend on the 4th!
Logan: No, no, no, I’m not leaving my house that day. I don’t like fireworks. Or crowds of people.
Mike: Also, I just realized rent is due in a few days. IMPORTANT.
Logan: What do you put in the memo line of your rent check? I put a sad face.
Mike: Aw, well, I put the month and year for the rent just in case they try to pull any funny business. “This check is clearly for this specific time frame!”
Logan: You’re so smart.
Mike: Nah, I’m just scared of being scammed sometimes. You never know when your landlord will drink a potion and become a slumlord.
Logan: Ha, well mine already is, so no worries there.
Mike: On that note: Let’s go home! We’ll check in on our spending on Monday. Have a great weekend, everyone!