Comments on: The Oppressive Six Flags Economy

By: L.C.Freiderici@twitter

L.C.Freiderici@twitter — Sat, 23 Jun 2012 14:21:50 +0000

Matt, I really enjoyed your article – it is a humorous rant with which no sane person could disagree.

By: crickethill

crickethill — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 02:23:57 +0000

Perhaps the most ethically ambiguous thing I’ve ever done is accept an offer of a primo Six Flags Great Adventure Flash Pass from a friend who worked in the marketing department of our newspaper company and diverted said passes (with permission, allegedly) from a contest in which a whole slew of them were being given away as prizes. It was during Fright Fest, too—the October days when you ride coasters in the dark and people dressed as zombies chase you with fake chainsaws and the temperature is perfect. You guys. It was awesome. The evil looks we got as we walked in the exit lines and hopped right on Kingda Ka burned small holes in my soul, but seriously. If you ever get a chance to do it, do it.

Consolation to anybody who’s had to wait while a Flash Pass jerk boards in front of them: Riding seven roller coasters in two hours makes you feel fucking terrible. Imagine a bad hangover mixed with unshakable carsickness, plus a nagging fear that maybe you did something bad to your brain and could drop dead of an aneurism or something any second.

By: forget it i quit

forget it i quit — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 15:21:49 +0000

@whateverlolawants I used to get embarressed when my parents made us do it. Now that I’m older, I call it tailgating. Same thing, different venue. If you get there in the morning with a cooler full of ice packs, ice and cold drinks, the sandwiches will still be cold and edible.

The income thing refers to FastPass. Calling people douches because they had the disposable income to jump to the front of the line? Some people have more disposable income than others and decide to spend it so they can enjoy the ride and not have to wait an hour. Why begrudge them?

By: whateverlolawants

whateverlolawants — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 14:59:10 +0000

It always boggles my mind how young the kids working at theme parks are. They’re younger than most fast-food employees. Most of them wouldn’t be old enough to work at the mall. But there they are, pushing all the buttons on the death machines. I probably have more faith in teenagers than the average adult, but it still makes me nervous.

If you’re in the midwest and might enjoy a smaller, less exploitative theme park, go to Holiday World. It’s in the middle of nowhere (Santa Claus, Indiana) and doesn’t have as many rides as a Six Flags, but its awesome coasters win lots of awards, they have free soft drinks and sunscreen, and the massive water park doesn’t cost extra. (Just beware drowning in the wave pool… it almost happened to me at age 18, and I can swim.)

By: whateverlolawants

whateverlolawants — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 14:52:51 +0000

@forget it i quit And that’s assuming you can bring in a cooler of food. According to the park’s website, “Food, beverages or coolers may not be brought into the park.” Now, there are some tricks in the above comments on how to get around that, but still.

By: whateverlolawants

whateverlolawants — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 14:48:11 +0000

@forget it i quit How much would they have to pay to store a cooler of food and drinks? How long does it take to go out to the car? Would you rather eat in a hot paved parking lot or a shady/air-conditioned area in the middle of the summer? I often bring my own food too, but you’ve got to factor this stuff in. Also, I missed the part where the author brought up anyone’s income.

By: forget it i quit

forget it i quit — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 05:43:24 +0000

having grown up in NJ with parents that made us buy hamburgers and put cheese slices on to make cheeseburgers, I can say you’re doing it wrong if you’re complaining about food prices. either pay up and shut up or bring a cooler with ice and cold drinks and sandwiches. go out to the car and eat some ham and cheese and save a few bucks for funnel cake.

it’s really a lot easier than whining about the fact that some people make more money than you.

By: stuffisthings

stuffisthings — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 03:21:51 +0000

@JR 2001 Amazing that roller coasters were able to exist for more than a hundred years before the advent of the Fast Pass.

I can only assume that pre-Fast Pass era theme parks were the the charitable ventures of kind-hearted steel tycoons willing to take a loss for the fun and enjoyment of their inferiors.

By: Scarlton Banks

Scarlton Banks — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 00:13:05 +0000

@JR 2001 You sound like a lot of fun.

By: Scarlton Banks

Scarlton Banks — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 00:05:43 +0000

@hopelessshade That’s actually brilliant. These places don’t mess with allergies. I asked for lactose-free ice cream at Disney World once and actually had to wait 10 minutes while they procured a waiver for me to sign. Thanks!