Comments on: Growing Up Means More Money But Less Fun

By: m @ random musings

m @ random musings — Sat, 25 Aug 2012 23:09:22 +0000

@MuffyStJohn While I agree 100% that expectation of extravagant gifts and wedding attendance is ludicrous, the consequence of not giving into such demands may be incredibly expensive if you value familial harmony.

By: m @ random musings

m @ random musings — Sat, 25 Aug 2012 22:39:30 +0000

@Maeve what I got out of the article is that the author thought the additional income would all be no-strings-attached discretionary income. And yes, while it is absolutely a choice to attend weddings and give generously, the cost of choosing alternatively may be very very expensive. When I graduated from school (and got a FT job), my relatives expected that my generosity should match my newfound status as an adult. Not one person considered that I was completely economically self-sufficient single person (I had to – one parent had just died, the other was newly downsized) while no one else in the entire group was financially self-sufficient at that age or income level. When I attempted to have the frank talk about money, it was met with: ‘sucks to be you – we never had to pay rent/food/car at your age/income’. It was a very tough lesson to learn how many “family” relationships were dependent on a tradition of gift-giving.

By: Evie

Evie — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 21:19:31 +0000

Wow that really sucks about the whole making a jackpot salary in a city with massive unemployment that happens to also be endlessly affordable and having to travel for all those destination weddings and having to pay back your student loans and EVERYTHING.

By: frenz.lo

frenz.lo — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 03:26:22 +0000

@gidge Well, I do see your point that no, parenthood should not be reserved for rich people only, but I get pretty annoyed when people give me the ol’ “You’ll never be ready! You’ll never have enough money! Have a baby whenever! Cowabunga!” song and dance. To me, it’s like saying, “Hey, man! You don’t need money to go on vacation. You can hitchhike, and live by your wits.” It may be factually true, but it is pretty inappropriate advice for a lot of people in this time and place. I don’t think most people who are deferring having kids for financial reasons are doing it so they can scrape up enough money for polo ponies and infant violin lessons. They are doing it because of stuff like loss of income from unpaid leave, childcare expenses, and wanting to have a somewhat less fragile living situation if they’re going to make some baby be a part of it. I’ve been in a stage of painfully wanting kids for a couple of years now, and yeah, it may “never” be the right time, but that doesn’t actually mean that it’s always the right time.

By: Fig. 1

Fig. 1 — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 22:04:28 +0000

If anyone knows about the American Dream, it’s Don Draper.

By: Fig. 1

Fig. 1 — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 21:59:44 +0000

@Maeve I kind of want to get drunk and then get your comment tattooed on my hip, but I’m sure that would open some sort of wormhole or something

By: Fig. 1

Fig. 1 — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 21:57:29 +0000

@Sarah H. Got invited to destination wedding – had to turn it down, as it would cost >7% of our gross household income. They haven’t contacted us since, as far as I know.

By: raptor41d

raptor41d — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 21:35:11 +0000

@oh! valencia Thanks. I created an account to make it. :-)

By: oh! valencia

oh! valencia — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 20:04:09 +0000

@raptor41d created an account just to like this comment.

By: raptor41d

raptor41d — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 16:46:24 +0000

I’m sorry, but re: adulthood, you may be doing it wrong. I live as part of a late-20s, married two-income household in Portland, and together we make (apparently) less than the husband in this post. We don’t have student loans, but our mortgage is $1,200 for a small old house that we love and constantly put money into improving.

Day to day, I am so incredibly grateful for how amazing and fun our life is. We work reasonable schedules; we travel (to Europe, sometimes!); we cook delicious, simple food at home; we eat delicious, more complex food at restaurants; we drink masterfully made cocktails, liquors, wines, and beers; we hang out on our patio with a fire and friends and stare at the stars and moon (when we can see them). And we still save money.

We’re lucky that we and our family members are all pretty healthy. We’re lucky that we don’t have many responsibilities except to our work and each other. For people like us (and, I think, the poster), adulthood is what we make of it. If you aren’t having fun, start doing something different.