Only Up From Here
My superpower is making really simple banking the hardest, most terrible thing in the world. For instance: The credit union account that I opened in Oregon only has two ATM locations where I can deposit checks in New York, and neither are easy to access (one requires an escort in an office building, one is in Times Square). I opened a new bank account online, but because I’ve moved so much, they wanted to verify my identity in person.
The first time I went, they were closed. The second time I went, they said that they needed proof of my New York address. I handed them a stack of mail that they had sent to my New York address. Not good enough. I handed them statements from my old bank with my New York address. Not good enough. Did I have a lease? I’m subletting, so, no I did not. Did I have a utility bill? I’m subletting, so, no I did not. Did I have an insurance card with my New York address? I’m subletting, so, no I did not. Did I have a paystub with my address on it? I’m a freelancer and get paid with straight checks, no stubs, so … no I did not. They could not verify my identity and address, and couldn’t activate my account. I needed to come back with one of those things that I don’t have. OKAY, BYE.
I got a check last week. The check had my address on it. I needed very badly to deposit the check, but even more badly I needed to verify my account so that I can stop paying $5 every time I use an ATM ($2 from the credit union, plus whatever the ATM charges). (This is incredibly stupid, I know.) (That’s why I’m changing banks.) (And also the inconvenience factor, obviously.) So with one account empty and badly needing that check to pay bills and the other account also empty but needed that check to prove my existence, I spent the weekend with no money (luckily: I also spent the weekend with good friends, who bought me things, like food, and MetroCards).
Finally, this morning was the day. The day of the banking. I prepared for the day of banking by spending the night with a friend in midtown. This sounds ridiculous, but: The banks I needed to go to were both in midtown! I thought I would conserve time. But: I didn’t factor in that the friend in midtown is staying on the west side, which is devoid of subways. And maybe that wouldn’t be a thing, except: This morning it was pouring rain. It still is pouring rain. It might pour rain for the rest of time.
I walked 30 minutes to the first bank to show my check and activate my account. The check was not technically a pay stub,and the lady didn’t know if she could take it. She got on the phone. The phone said: A paycheck is not a paystub. She asked me if I had a lease? No. Insurance card? No. Utility bill? No. She got on the phone again. This time the phone must have said, take pity on the soaking wet girl, because the woman hung up, handed me back my check, and then said that my account had been activated. I was almost happy, but mostly just … cold. And wet. I thanked her and left.
Then I walked another 20 minutes, through Times Square, The Worst Place On Earth, to a 7-11 to deposit my other check. (Why not just deposit the check in the first bank, you might ask, a great question, really. Well: They hadn’t sent me a debit card yet to go with my account, and also, all my bills are still being paid with my old account, and some of them are overdue and need to be paid now.) So I walked to the 7-11. On my walk, I thought about how walking through puddles with sandals is a lot like walking through puddles barefoot, which is disgusting and perhaps also a way to get diseases.
I finally reached the 7-11. (I was fully prepared for the ATM to be broken. Here’s how I was planning to deal with that: By crying.) But the ATM worked. I deposited the check. I took out $100, and refrained from thinking about how long that money is supposed to last me (a long time). I used the last bit of battery on my cellphone to find a bus to take me to the conference I’m attending, and then I used my Metro Card (a birthday present from my friend Lisa) to take a bus. It only took me halfway there. I walked the rest of the way. It was still raining. I’m soaking wet. But I have two bank accounts now, and one of them has money in it.
I arrived at the conference, dripping. My friend Greg greeted me (I have a lot of Gregs in my life, and they are all Straight Talkers). “It’s nice you dressed up for this networking event. Have you been planning your outfit for a long time?” I didn’t have an answer. “Also, why does it always seem that the thinnest thread is keeping everything in your life from falling apart?” That one was easy: “Because it’s true.”
Ahh this was what my life was like all the time when I lived in NYC. The cost of living calculations should def include how hard it can be to do basic things like deposit a check or get groceries or photocopy something. It was totally worth it, though!
It’s such a hassle to run out of cash. I try to take out large sums at a time. I usually withdraw about 100-160.00 dollars cash for two weeks.
I hate paying ATMs to get my cash out. I look at that five dollars like a round trip on the subway or almost two lattes from Starbucks.
@chic noir Wells Fargo is the worst at ATM surcharges. And they make you buy your own checks (haha, buy checks? No).
But ridiculous banking contortions, Logan. I have been there. Hiking two miles in a WNY blizzard to beg to cash in a CD early so I could buy books for that semester particularly stands out.
@VolcanoMouse Wait what??? You can get checks for free? I had no idea. I thought it was normal to pay for your own checks?
@chic noir Wait, what? It has to be because I used to live in crappy small towns with crappy small banks that had no other way to lure in customers than offer free checks. Or maybe the first box of checks was free and I never went through ‘em all?
@VolcanoMouse – Well I’m going to see what local banks and credit unions offer free checks.
you’re a champion! only up from here!
I’m also currently struggling with a two chequing accounts dilemma but mine is entirely due to my bad decision to put my paycheques into the wrong account. whyyyy do banks have to hold cheques and transfers and things for so long.
Logan I respect the choice to use a credit union. I’ve been recently plotting how to leave Chase bank, and I think I’m going to go with Ally bank for my debit card needs, because they pay you back for ATM fees, and I travel a lot, so that adds up.
I am sure I sound like a broken record at this point, but I highly recommend Ally Bank. They have great customer service, and I get around $30 back every month with ATM fee reimbursement.
The only downside, of course, is that it is near impossible to deposit checks. I usually give the money to a friend or parent and they transfer the money to my account.
@myrna.minkoff Irrelevant comment — Myrna Minkoff! The saucy minx!
Schwab High Yield Investor Checking, you guys. I finally made a commenter account to preach about this (also because this is my new favorite website, ever) (also, because I have been reading the Awl and Hairpin and Billfold since the respective days they started posting and it was about time to make a commenter account).
But anyway, the High Yield Investor Checking! When I learned I was moving to Manhattan for grad school four years ago, the first thing I did was ditch my local/regional bank account in favor of an online bank that had good reviews (my old bank was TD Banknorth, which ironically had a branch two blocks from me in New York, but Schwab was still the way to go). The name invites misconceptions, so let me dispel them:
1) You do not need to be a High Yield individual to have this checking account. No minimum balance, ever, not even to start, and no fees.
2) You do not need to be an Investor to have this checking account. You do need to open a brokerage account with Schwab, but you never need to have money in it, ever. No minimums or fees.
Here is what you do get:
1) ATM reimbursement (like Ally). When I lived in Manhattan and my friends had to race all over to get to that one BofA ATM ten blocks from where we were doing the things, I could step into the bodega or anywhere nearby and use the ATM (after determining to my satisfaction that there was no card skimmer thing) smug in the knowledge that I would be reimbursed. The satisfaction was even more smug at the big bank ATMs where my friends were getting hosed for $3 or $5 a pop. The ATM game in New York where there are ATMs everywhere except when you need a particular brand of ATM is no longer torture with this account.
2) CHECK DEPOSIT WITH MY PHONE. There are very few brick and mortar Schwab brokerages out there compared to banks, so I used to have to mail in my check deposits (not such a big deal, and they were always processed quickly). These days, someone writes me a check and I can have the money on its way via Schwab’s app to my account in less than a minute (and if it’s during business hours, it’ll be in the account in minutes).
3) Great customer service, free checks, good online account management.
4) Real interest on checking account balance. Back when I opened the account and there was such a thing as interest rates above zero, I got a crazy rate of return for checking (around 3-5% back then, it varied with the LIBOR of course). Now it’s miniscule, but I live with the hope that someday the economy will recover enough to get interest rates back.
It’s the best, you guys, especially in NYC.
Ohhh man The Oregon Credit Union! I have been living in Boston for four years and I have been clutching on to my credit union, which is dumb. There are no ATMS I can use, I get cash by getting cash back when I go to the post office. I deposit checks via the mail. I need to move back home.