Non-Emergencies I’ve Called Emergencies in Order to Justify Using My Emergency Credit Card

• I am feeling fat and grumpy and need to join a gym (twice)

• My body hurts and I need a massage (multiple times)

• I feel crazy and need a therapy appointment (never an emergency, but usually warranted)

• I hate my outfit (multiple times)

• I need to chop all my hair off (multiple times)

• I need to fly to another city to see a friend (multiple times)

• I need to to have a naturopath take control of my healthcare, and also acupuncture

• I need to quit the naturopath and get back on western medicine

• I need to buy Christmas presents (multiple times)

• I need to buy a birthday present (multiple times)

• I need to buy a just-because present (multiple times)

• I need to have a gathering of all my friends and I need to pay for said gathering (multiple times)

• I need to buy a ticket to fly across the country today because my nephew is being born and this is very important (truth)

• Car repair (bona-fide emergency, only happened once)


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