Comments on: Infuriating Article About Women and Money

By: M. Flourish Klink@twitter

M. Flourish Klink@twitter — Thu, 17 May 2012 13:44:04 +0000

@OneTooManySpoons OMG, also, two words: FACIAL WAXING.

I actually do think that “normal” is the right word to apply to that stuff. I know that some ladies do feel fine about their dark facial hair, and they are awesome, but I’m 99% sure that most of us wax, bleach, etc., after having learned very early on that being a hairy lady makes you the butt of every joke. That adds up real, real quick, especially if you want to go someplace that won’t give you a skin disease from gross waxing hygiene.

By: Fig. 1

Fig. 1 — Wed, 16 May 2012 20:33:15 +0000

I’m going to play devil’s feminist here and point out, that once you position cultural mores on appearance as a way of cultivating insecurity in women and distracting them (us) from the larger sources of inequity in society, suddenly having hairy legs seems inconsequential.

Thanks for your concern, Mike. I really mean it – we need more discussion of stupid yet accepted societal dictums in all areas, not just blogs concerned with dismantling patriarchy/kyriarchy/hegemony.

Women can’t win – if you spend little money on your appearance, you’re shunned; if you spend too much, you’re ridiculed. The only question is, why do we still keep playing the game?

By: DrFeelGood

DrFeelGood — Wed, 16 May 2012 17:42:20 +0000

@readyornot I am in the same situation; most of my female peers are pretty money savy, but perhaps that’s because we’re all married less than 10 years? But all of the women in my family and my husband’s family are completely in-the dark about their money. I find it maddening, like, what if he leaves you? Or what about when he dies? My mom cannot even operate an ATM. My sister’s husband could literally clear out all their accounts tomorrow and she’d have no idea. I also still keep 2 accounts in my name for this exact reason, I had a co-worker who calls it her “divorce fund”. Does it sound crass? Perhaps, but id rather be on stable footing if something were to happen to my marriage than to blindly trust that’s all going to be OK.

By: DrFeelGood

DrFeelGood — Wed, 16 May 2012 17:36:47 +0000

@lalaland Yea the article is pretty bad, but in my totally unscientific sample of, the females in my family and in my husband’s family, I am the only woman who does 50%, if not more than 50% of the financial work. My husband pays our taxes, and I do most everything else. He is not incompetent or in the dark about our finances, but I enjoy it more. I get so infuriated when I talk to my sister and she’s like oh, I have no idea, my husband takes care of it. She literally does not know how much money they have and what they owe, etc. To not know where you stand financially and to assume that someone else is “taking care” of it for you is… maddening.

By: Megoon

Megoon — Wed, 16 May 2012 15:46:22 +0000

I think a more objectionable quote is at the beginning: “And how many pairs of Jimmy Choo and Christian Louboutin could I afford if I was reimbursed for half of all the (much less fancy) footwear I’ve bought with my own money since I met my husband 15 years ago?”

I’m going to throw it out there that many women – like myself – don’t really dream about spending $800 on a pair of shoes.

But you know what? My husband manages our money, and I’m fine with it. We go over the savings and investments once or twice a year so I’m clued in to where everything’s going, and we talk it over before he makes any major changes, but he manages money for his job; why wouldn’t he manage it at home? In the end, his account, my account, the joint accounts… it’s all our money. I don’t really care which account pays for my fancy face wash or his Amazon hardcover habit. We both have reasonable spending habits, and if we want to go out for drinks with friends or buy a new coat, we don’t feel the need to defend it to each other. I guess my point is that having my husband handle our investments doesn’t make me feel dependent or unfeminist.

By: nyikin

nyikin — Wed, 16 May 2012 08:53:40 +0000

@OneTooManySpoons

Some of the BASIC expectations on women (to be perceived as hygienic): remove hair on body (legs, underarms, upper lip, nether). Decent hair (this cost can skyrocket for black women). Tampons/pads. >5 shirts and >3 pants. Moisturizer and lip tint/chapstick. Bras and underwear (the latter which periodically needs to be replaced due to point 3.

I’m not even talking about frivolous extras that can make the difference between being seen as just acceptable versus competent. This really is the bare minimum to be “normal”.

Mike, this stuff costs money. Real cash money.

By: Wanderer

Wanderer — Wed, 16 May 2012 01:12:39 +0000

Christ on a bike! That article is drivel to be honest – I mean, what kind of women does the article writer hang out with? Those women need a real wake up call. Expecting someone else to manage your money is a recipe for disaster! Having said that, most couples need to work out what’s best for them. I don’t expect my fella to pay for fancy work clothes and makeup and I have my wages to cover those expenses. What works for one couple won’t work for another I guess.

By: Megano!

Megano! — Tue, 15 May 2012 23:48:13 +0000

I took care of all the finances with the ex, as we lived together for 6 years. I definitely couldn’t trust him to do it! We did not have a joint account though. And I am for the joint account paying for things like haircuts and shit (AND BIRTH CONTROL), but it’s dumb that those women don’t even know the state of their finances. That’s how people wind up with nothing while the other one doesn’t even know!

By: chic noir

chic noir — Tue, 15 May 2012 22:53:03 +0000

@City_Dater

The NY Times has become the official concern troll of newspapers for anything to do with women

Oh the concern troll articles about Black women are truly scary. Journalism is tuff these days, everybody is looking for a Pulitzer prize, an Emmy, and a book deal. Soundbite nation FTW!

By: OneTooManySpoons

OneTooManySpoons — Tue, 15 May 2012 19:42:31 +0000

@OneTooManySpoons Just realize I should add–I do realize this is a bad, poorly-researched article. I’m not trying to defend it. I do think, however, that lots of men (including even Mike, who I think is just the awesomest), don’t fully understand the “normal,” not-frivolous expenses that come with being a woman who wants to look, you know, like a regular, nice, respectable person.