Thirteen Ways to Lose a Debit Card

1. Left it in an ATM. Four or five times, actually.
2. Forgot to close my tab at the bar. This has, mercifully, only happened once.
3. Left it in jeans pocket, sent through washer and dryer. The magnetic strip disintegrated, my clothes smelled like hot plastic.
4. Slipped into money pocket of wallet, bent in half.
5. Left wallet on kitchen counter too close to burner, melted.
6. Gnawed by a large dog. How did he even got ahold of it?

7. Fell out of pocket again, this time on a windy day and into the Potomac.
8. No idea, disappeared into thin air. Still haven’t found it. Pickpocket? Who knows!
9. Left on metro (with its friend the SmarTrip card).
10. Dropped down elevator shaft, in that little gap between the car and the door.
11. Tried to use it like a cat burglar when locked out of my apartment, snapped in half.
12. Out of my pocket and into the toilet (with its other friend, my phone).
13. Fell out of back pocket while watching 4th of July fireworks in a crowded park … the night before moving to New Zealand.


Victoria Johnson never learns. Photo Credit: flickr/claudio gennari


8 Comments / Post A Comment

To complete the Wallace Stevens allusion, I might have gone with “Thirteen Ways of Losing a Debit Card.”

lemons! (#384)

Created a user name just to say I am relating so hard right now.

@ihatesomuch (#177)

I’d like to think that the half a dozen+ debit cards I’ve lost around DC are hanging with your lost debit cards and they’re having a really fabulous party.

Anne (#33)

When I dropped a credit card down the elevator shaft, I decided that the card would expire long before someone found it & the universe was telling me to pay it off and close the account.

highjump (#39)

10. Dropped down elevator shaft, in that little gap between the car and the door
This is my nightmare! I always try to remember to grip things super tightly since I am in several elevators each day, but I think this is going to happen to me one day.

megancress (#428)

Mine went into the lining of my jacket along with my driving license and somehow cunningly hid for two months from me, even though I had checked to see if it was there.

My mum perfected the art of losing the whole wallet, I distinctly remember her losing four in one year when I was little. She now denies this happened, but I know the truth!

Mrs. Beeton (#320)

I lost one and found it a year later, as a bookmark. That means I am not only careless, but apparently incapable of finishing a book.

Charlsie (#442)

Can I add one? While waiting in the Zaxby’s drivethru line with your car window rolled down, casually stick the debit card into the rubber where your window would be, if it wasn’t rolled down. While absentmindedly testing the limits of this strangely fasinating rubber opening, drop the debit card into the opening, losing it forever to the inside of your car door. Call your mechanic and have him laugh at you when you ask if he can take the door apart to get it out. Call your bank and order a new debit card.

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