Talking to Our Kids About Money
The National Financial Educators Council is using “strong imagery” in their new PSA “to motivate parents to take positive action, action that will prove critical to their children’s futures.”
Mike: Did your folks ever have a “talk” with you while you were growing up? Like, “We’re going to sit down and talk about money.”
Logan: No.
Mike: Mine didn’t either! But it had to have come up in other ways.
Logan: But I never had a talk about sex either. We weren’t that kind of family. Things just kind of came up naturally.
Mike: Oh, I certainly didn’t have that. Tiger moms just want you to focus on getting good grades and then getting a good job. So, I guess in that sense, that was my “money talk.” “Kid, you have to earn a lot of money, or else I will be disappointed in you for the rest of your life.”
Logan: Haha. When did you know you were expected to provide for your family? I mean, was that intrinsic forever?
Mike: Yeah, it’s a cultural thing, I think. Because my parents also helped my grandparents. That’s just what you do.
Logan: And you were aware of that? Always?
Mike: Pretty much. But we didn’t have any discussions about credit cards, or saving for retirement. I had to pick up those things on my own. But, I watched my parents save so they could provide a better life for their family. That’s probably something I learned from osmosis. They are far from financially stable, but considering that they started with nothing, it’s certainly an accomplishment.
But I will probably talk to my kids about money. Not like, “It’s time we sat down and talked about money!” But on Sunday mornings, casually at the breakfast table while we’re eating waffles.”
I can’t remember for the life of me why it ever came up (I don’t think it was a deliberate conversation) but I can remember my mom telling me a couple of times that when I grew up and got a job, I should transfer a few bucks per paycheck to a savings account before anything else. Even if it was just $5 or $10, it would add up eventually (and she never did that and wished she had). And while I’m not that routine about it, something must have stuck, because I opened up a savings account as soon as I got my first Real Grown Up Job and have been squirreling away money ever since.
Money and sex are similar in that you might have “the talk” with your kids, but in reality, you are also going to have to have lots of little talks about lots of different aspects of the issues. These talks will most likely happen when you least expect it–my kids ask a lot of sex questions on the ride home from school, and I think it’s because we are not looking each other in the face at the time, so they feel more comfortable.
I swear to god, when I have children I might never talk to them about sex or drugs but we WILL discuss money.
My parents have historically sucked at managing their money, and they never once talked to me about how one spends or saves what one earns. It wasn’t until after college that I realized 1. I learned all my bad money habits from them (Credit card debt is almost paid off!), and 2. Neither of them will ever be able to retire.
In my fantasy world in which I am a parent, I’m going to start when they understand basic addition and subtraction, and have the conversation every few years until I die.
The talk I remember getting was “Never use credit cards. Never use credit cards!” at the dinner table, while we ate cereal and MREs so my parents could pay down their debt.
I never had the talk, but by age 13 I was managing my mom’s salary so we wouldn’t be eaten away by credit card debt and interests. So I know how to go from thousands to zero debt. I never got to practice saving, though, and that is still my most terrifying flaw
Oh, man. My father is both a math nerd, in general, and one of those people who is super-proactive about managing personal finances. So I got everything growing up, from the concepts of how lower interest rate = “cheap money” to marginal tax rates to how to multiply any number by five.
I inherited his knack for numbers but not his commitment to doing all the paperworky-things. So I’m not in terrible shape, financially, but the standard I hold myself to is much, much higher. (Ahh! I’m not maximizing my employer-match for the retirement plan!)